Crowds of disappointed ice cream fans were turned away by police in Edinburgh today after mistaking the Pope Mobile for an ice cream van and the Pope for an aproned Italian ice cream vendor. One man said "I queued up for hours in the sun, hoping t...
The Baltimore Ravens lost a detrimental game Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the loss was primarily due to mental errors and costly 4th quarter penalties. It went without saying that head coach John Harbaugh's promise to take the team out...
Philadelphia, PA - Crack-heads surrounding North Philadelphia's Diamond Street were terribly dismayed yesterday after discovering that their usual ice cream truck full of crack was actually selling ice cream. "It be bullshit," said Derrick Thomas,...
PHOENIX, AZ -- Ben and Jerry are being sued over ice cream that was claimed to be too cold. According to the complaint, filed in Maricopa County Court, Emilio Estanza-Gomez was enjoying an ice cream cone while driving his newly purchased automobile.
Al Gore is back to start his Global warming lectures again now that spring has arrived and the temperatures are getting warmer. While walking to a hall in Las Vegas, where he was due to do a Global warming lecture he spotted a little boy who's ic...
Mongo - The world was briefly terrified today in the aftermath of a newsflash announcement from none other than Emperor Ming of Mongo, the sinister tyrant of the 1930's serial "Flash Gordon", who demanded that Earth's rulers abdicate to him or face t...
Thousands of Bankrupt ice cream van owners are being urged to sue Al Gore because of his Global Warming lectures which are causing financial ruin. George Grey bought an ice cream van and stocked it up ready for the summer that never came after he...
A Vermont ice cream maker has released a new placenta flavored ice cream named "After Birth" to show the company's support for the conservative "birther" movement. The so called birthers are conservatives that question the legitimacy of Barack Oba...
Consumer News/ New Products for Niche Markets - A speciality ice cream company in the rural outback of Pennslyania, long noted for their political activism, has brought to the market a new flavour catering to the same sex marriage crowd. "Daddy, D...
Dessert treats madam Little Debbie has announced the release of a new snack treat: Little Debbie's Cream Pies. Little Debbies has been struggling to compete in the dessert treat market in the second great depression. The usual fruit pies and chocolat...
In the UK it has been revealed that the owners/operators of ice cream vans have reported an eighty percent increase in intimidation and racketeering by mafia hoodlums allegedly on the payroll of American megastar Beyonce Knowles. It would appear t...
British Forces deployed to Afghanistan in support of the UN authorised, NATO led International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) gave a rousing thumbs up to defence Secretary John Hutton's latest initiative. The right Honourable John Hutton MP cl...
Another blow was dealt to the global economy today when ice cream giants, Ben from Ben & Jerry's, and Jerry from Ben & Jerry's, announced that the company was to split following failure to negotiate mutually accepted terms. In a joint statem...
The British Government, in a 30-million pound initiative, is to make a database of ice-cream van music. Department of Eurofun spokesman Eric Tie, speaking outside the Department's new 16-storey office on Millbank, said that he was glad the Govern...
Cowshed, Vermont - Ice cream moguls, Ben & Jerry have unleashed their latest concoction in honor of Barack Obama's recent election as President of the United States - Cinnamon Rocky Road. Ben & Jerry are noted as much for their p...
In an effort to ride the financial storm, the Bradford and Bingley Building Society has decided to change direction. From tomorrow, the building society will no longer have anything to do with savings, finance or buildings and is moving into sell...
Stung by claims that they are insensitive to the welfare of cows, Ice Cream moguls Ben and Jerry have today unveiled their latest product - ice cream made from the breast milk of human females. To facilitate this, they have purchased over a millio...
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