Stung by claims that they are insensitive to the welfare of cows, Ice Cream moguls Ben and Jerry have today unveiled their latest product - ice cream made from the breast milk of human females.
To facilitate this, they have purchased over a million acres of arable land in central Asia where, in Jerry's words "plump large breasted women can be reared and milked."
Their decision has been warmly endorsed by animal rights group PETA, but their intention to locate their farms overseas has not been appreciated by everyone. One outspoken critic is reverend Josiah Wedgewood, a former supporter of PETA and part-time owner of online site International Tit Fanciers.
"Why can't they build them here in the U S A? Everybody knows American breast is best. Some of those Asians are as flat as a board."