A Florida man has been charged with second-degree murder after he strangled his roommate during an argument over cigarettes. Willy Blocke was arrested yesterday, according to Tampa police, who said the suspect killed Dock Bamar Ming, 43, when he...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Following the San Francisco ban on the sale of cigarettes in pharmacies earlier this fall, an independent study group has concluded that the ban is approximately 1.3% effective in achieving its ends. "The controlling idea behin...
A series of what are decribed as "mild" initiatives are tipped to reach the statute book early next year. With a view to making it more difficult to aquire cigarettes, the following are likely to enter the statute book. Cigarettes will only be...
In a complete about face, unusual in politics, the Chancellor, Alistair Darling yesterday urged the nation, "Go on!, Get back on the Fags and Booze!" Worried by a huge fall in revenue and the need to top up the tax coffers, the gov't has overuled...
To get kids to stop smoking, the government has mandated cigarette companies put scary pictures on all packs. Here's what some of the new pictures will look like: * Frightening close-ups of Yul Brenner's autopsy photos graciously left by the old actor after dying of lung cancer. * Frightening close-ups of severed limbs and heads strewn about the road after automobile accidents. * And...
Today the "Government" has introduced collectable cigarette packets for the first time, following the success of packets with written warnings of impending doom such as, "smoking kills." The new, more colourful, packets will have pictures of cripp...
In a surprising report yesterday, scientists at Liverpool University concluded that cigarettes are good for you. 'We were shocked initially at our findings' said a spokesman,' but it would appear that all the fuss about heart disease and...
North Carolina (AP) - By far, the leading U.S. export to Iran is Cigarettes. Also among the leading exports are Bra's and Bull Semen. Bull Semen? This may explain Iranian women and those facial scarves.
A woman who, for the last 97 years, has existed solely on a strict diet of lard, is 100 today, and still going strong, according to the doctors who monitor her life support machine. Nelly Crackers, of Blackburn in Lancashire, has reached her ton d...
London - (20-a-day Mess): British Imperial Cancer Industries are feeling very pleased with themselves after successfully hiring Dr Andrew Wakefield-type quacks to blame throat cancer on dodgy oral sex practices.
Menthol, the drug that has hooked more African Americans to a deadly addiction than crack cocaine, is being given a free pass by anti-tobacco legislators.
World Asthma Day is an annual event organized by the Global Initiative for Asthma (GINA) to improve asthma awareness and prevention around the world.
In an effort to combat smoking the government has proposed legislation to force shopkeepers to hide cigarettes around their shops and time all customers attempting to purchase them. In a statement Public Health Minister Dawn Primarolo explained the...
Ban on shop displays of cigarettes, fresh fruits, and popular sweets like 'Box O'Pixies' has been introduced in a move designed to discourage teens from smoking, eating, thinking, or acting for themselves.
A Wake Forest University showed that drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes are good for you and should be encouraged. It further suggested that legislators should have mandated smoking sections so people can live productive lives.
In a groundbreaking study, U.S. researchers have discovered that the national obesity epidemic is being caused by a lack of cigarette smokers.
The government were facing further embarrassment tonight following the leaking of a controversial report from the Department of Health. The eight hundred page document draws on a decade's worth of research by senior scientist Dr. Hugh Dentith and...
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