With studies showing that Abstinence Only and Just Say No efforts have not resulted in any lessening of sexual activity among young people but inexplicably have increased their activity more than those that have not signed up, the two groups have beg...
A hearing aid company announced today that it was giving state of the art hearing aids to the Democratic delegation in the US Senate. A company spokesman stated the following: "With the uproar going on over health care reform it seems that many...
The RNC was quick to react today to the announcement that President Barack Obama had won The Nobel Peace Prize. MIchael Steele, Chairman of the RNC, in a quickly put together press release said "This means nothing! Everyone knows that the Nobel Pe...
A Louisberg resident sold his life insurance policy to the Rob-u-quick Bank last month after seeing the ads on TV targeted to seniors. Mr. T. J. Mc Corkle of Louisburg, NC and his wife of forty-seven years were having a hard time living on their smal...
In a throw back to the antiwar chant of the 1960's (make love..not war) a majority of the Republican establishment issued a statement today that declared "Make war...Not love." The leaders say this is an effort to have a issue that would be positive...
In a broadcast that took even his most devoted followers by surprise Rush Limbauh predicted today that the United States would be destroyed by an asteroid sometime during Obama's first term in office. Limbaugh proclaimed midway through his daily b...
Senate Democrats on The Senate Finance Committee revealed today that they are putting their votes up for sale on Craigslist. The announcement came amid speculation that the work on the Health Care bill was finally winding down. Senator Max Baucus...
In an announcement that will is sure to rock the citizenry of the United states and astound, if not surprise, the rest of the world, Tempus Magazine is set to announce the 2009 Person of the Year: The American Asshole. Sources within the magazine...
With the motto...."Let them really know, you carry concealed" the government today announced a new program to reduce the number of concealed weapons currently flooding our nations streets and rural areas. With slogans like......"Feel good about yo...
In a stunning announcement that surely will raise an outcry from many mainstream religeous leaders a spokesman for The Birther movement has isuead a statement that maintains that Jesus was not born in Bethlehem in Jerusalem as has been believed for...
A consortium of radio talk show hosts, Birthers, T-Baggers and Republican politicians today anounced a national "Yell Fire in a Crowded Theatre Day" The announcement came amid the growing cries from the conservative movement that the Obama adminstr...
In a startling revelation taken from internal memos of a major health insurance company it appears that thousands if not tens of thousands of insured families have been dropped from the companies rolls due to what the companies are calling the "Shit...
As the Value Voters Convention packed up and left Washington DC today the Convention & Visitors Bureau was inundated with complaints from hotels and restaurants that the coventioneers had skipped out on their bills. Hotels and restaurants were...
In a surprise announcement today President Barack Obama named Glenn Beck to be the new Bizarre Czar. Noting that the appointment is consistent with his "team of rivals" approach to government, Obama stated: "I know that Glenn will do a fantas...
News pundit Bill O'Reilly suffered a stroke late thursday evening shortly after the broadcast of his nightly show. He was quickly rushed to the hospital and was stabilized. A Cat Scan revealed and tests revealed that he had a jump in his IQ fr...
In a startling development The Douche-Baggers (formerly The T-Baggers & Birthers) announced today in a press release that the Pope is a Muslim! The announcement came as a shock to the religous community aaround the world. Many mainsteram Pro...
A seventy-eight year old man in Louisburg, NC has reported that after taking erectile dysfunction medicine, he has regularly experienced a four hour erection. Warnings about this condition appear regularly on the TV ads regardng this and other ED med...
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