Value Voters; Two For the Price of One

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Saturday, 19 September 2009


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As the Value Voters Convention packed up and left Washington DC today the Convention & Visitors Bureau was inundated with complaints from hotels and restaurants that the coventioneers had skipped out on their bills.

Hotels and restaurants were not the only complainants. There was similar cries of distress from waitresses and cab drivers across the city. One waitress told of serving a table of four, two man and two women, and after a $120.00 tab, left a tip of a dollar. Another waitress reported that a couple leaving the restaurant had picked up the tips from other tables and pocketed the money.

Several cab drivers of Pakistan and Indian descent told of passengers calling them A-Rabs and leaving the cab without paying while the DC Madam reported that she couldn't supply enough girls for SM & kinky sex to satisfy the demand from the conventioneers and one girl returned saying a customer tried to pay her with a Gideon bible and called her a Jezebel when she refused.

The Washington Post reported that Jerome McNair, a quadriplegic Viet Nam war veteran that for fifteen years has positioned himself outside of The Hilton Hotel asking for donations had his donation box stolen twice right before his eyes. He is the sole support for a family of four. He told the Post that the woman conventioneer had shouted as she stole the boxl"Get a job...deadbeat"

The Convention & Visitors Bureau said it was the largest number of complaints ever received for one convention.

As the participants left the closing ceremony singing "Yes,Jesus Loves Me,"there was not a cab in sight at the convention center.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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