Republicans Say...Make War... Not Love

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Wednesday, 7 October 2009


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In a throw back to the antiwar chant of the 1960's (make love..not war) a majority of the Republican establishment issued a statement today that declared "Make war...Not love." The leaders say this is an effort to have a issue that would be positive and at the same time would unify the party.

Senator John McCain made the statement from the Rotunda of the Capitol. With Joe Leiberman standing behind him, looking bilious and Senator Lindsey Graham grinning and nodding his head like a teenager that just discovered his penis, Senator McCain spoke gravely of the dangers to our country and what the US must do....."I have said before...Bomb...bomb...bomb..Iran. I said it then, and I say it now. We must put every military person we have lnto Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran....every soldier, sailor, and marine. We must commit to all out war...every place and every time we can find it. NO...we do not need a draft. We can find all of the personnel we need right here on the streets of America. There are enough poor White, Black, and Hispanic kids to satisfy our needs. We can accomplish two things with this new effort....reduce crime at home....and make the world safe for Democracy. When we sweep the streets of these kids, they can no longer engage in street least in our other words...we are making our streets safer. By shipping them to the war zone...they can replace the criminals we have there now...and bring Halliburton home....and at a lot less cost too I assure you.

McCain finished by saying: My friends, the Republican Party has always proudly lead the cry for more war. We have always held our party and this country together by making Americans scared shitless. We need it never before....make war... not love"

Senator John Ensign of Nevada, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani Of NYC, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina, and former Senator Larry Craig of Utah did not attend the announcement.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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