Senate Democrats on The Senate Finance Committee revealed today that they are putting their votes up for sale on Craigslist. The announcement came amid speculation that the work on the Health Care bill was finally winding down.
Senator Max Baucus speaking on behalf of the Democrats said the following with his trademark smile: "Although we are quite proud of the work we have done on this this breakthrough legislation, we realize it is time to move on. The Health Care industry has been a cash cow....and for that we are grateful, but we cannot continue to have this as our only source of revenue....they have done enough, and although we know that they will always be at our side, it is time to expand our horizons. The Democratic party has always been a big tent...we are going to make it bigger. Therefore...we have decided to list our votes on Craigslist"
As reporters rushed to the telephones to file their stories the Republicans were quick to respond. "This is disgusting" shouted Senator Mitch McConnell from the Capitol Rotunda, They have taken fund raising to a new low. We,the Republicans raise our money like gentlemen..not some kind of street vendor. They have taking this oldest of American traditions from The Country Clubs, the Moose hunting expeditions, the $1000 a plate chicken dlnners, and the occasional meeting in a motel room or a mens cublcle ln the restroom, to a disgusting level.
Not all of the Republicans in the House and Senate agreed with McConnell's assesment. Representative John Boehner of Ohio was quick to put his own listing on Craigslist offering his vote for a new tanning bed while Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina offered his vote plus a slave of the persons choice for a new pick up truck.
As news spread throughout the capitol Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont and Representative Dennis Kucinich of Ohio issued statements saying that their votes were not for sale and they would continue to vote for the interests of the people in their state and district. Each were stripped of their committee assignments and reportedly ugly comments were made in the Senate and House cloakrooms. Representative Kucinich found the words.."poopy pants" carved on his desk in the House Chambers.
The Senate Finance Committee plans to meet next week to discuss lowering the minimum wage to fifty cents an hour.
