It was revealed today that Prince William, second in line to the throne thanks to his success in the great British tradition of forming a queue, is to lead the drug squad in the Caribbean.
Now that judges have deemed it fitting that thieves who steal to fund their drug, alcohol or gambling habits should be spared jail, Leicester University has announced an NVQ in drug taking, gambling and binge drinking.
Legal prescription drugs and alcohol account for hundreds of thousands of deaths in the US and UK each year, but marijuana has accounted for none.
London - (Ass Mess): A Civil List hit-squad has swooped down in a dawn raid on occupied royal palaces to determine the extent of rampant cocaine abuse among recipients of cushy state handouts.
Figures out today suggest that heroin and crack cocaine users are 75% more likely to achieve success in the creative arts and music industry than non-drugs users.
San Diego State University has been the site this week of one of the biggest drug busts on a college campus in US history.
Jacqui Smith, the pot-smoking Home Secretary, has announced that, from today, all cannabis that is smoked in the UK must be stronger, and must meet stringent European Cannabis Strength Laws.
A study shows that black men in jail for only drug convictions outnumber white men, who are charged with the very same crime by 12 to 1. Strangely enough, other studies show that the actual consumption of drugs in urban communities is about equal bet...
Juarez, Mexico - Because of the millions of dollars lost by Mexican Drug Cartels as a result of the United States crackdown on drugs crossing the border, the Cartels have begun a new side line of kidnapping Americans near the Mexican border and then...
Chemist, Albert Hofmann, who was pronounced dead back in 1978 at 72 and then was again pronounced dead in 1989 at 83 and once again was pronounced dead in 2001 at 95, was once again pronounced dead this week at 102 years old.
Vultures could be extinct in the wild within 10 years unless a drug blamed for their rapid demise is eliminated, scientists warn.
Police in Bolton who executed a daring dawn raid on, what they believed to be, a local drugs den, realised somewhat belatedly, that something was amiss when, instead of drugs dealers armed with guns and machetes, they encountered an...
Off-the-Wall-St, New York - (Narcotic Mess): Forget the shrinks' feeble apologia about investment bankers' fluctuating testosterone and cortisol levels: DEA chiefs say a massive Wall Street cocaine binge has generated the sub-prime fiasco.
London - (Ass Mess): Lawyers acting for the accused in the 'gay minor royal £50,000 crack cocaine blackmail video' case have slammed British justice for favoring the totally anonymous and unnamed son of the late Princess Margaret.
Las Vegas - (Botox Ass Mess): A 22 year-old Texan pharmacology entrepreneur (sic) has been crowned Ms United States after a close-run contest of the nation's finest.
Spokane WA- Ryan Clayton, a typical 34-year old resident of Spokane, was alone on vacation backpacking through a dense secluded forest, eating peanut shells and licking tree bark, when he tripped over an ice sculpture built by prodigious beavers with...
London - (Narcotic Mess): The ambassador's parties may be noted for their glamor and sophistication. But this week's message is 'Ferrero Rocher eat your heart out.'...
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