Mexican Drug Crackdown Creates Kidnapping Surge

Written by W.D. Nelson

Monday, 5 May 2008

image for Mexican Drug Crackdown Creates Kidnapping Surge
"Happy Cinco DeMayo" this drug smuggler told us, taunting America even more by not hiding his face.

Juarez, Mexico - Because of the millions of dollars lost by Mexican Drug Cartels as a result of the United States crackdown on drugs crossing the border, the Cartels have begun a new side line of kidnapping Americans near the Mexican border and then negotiating for their release with the kidnapped person's family, thus making up for the lost dollars from the drug shutdown.

Worried that this may be an ever growing problem in our attempts at intercepting drugs coming from Mexico, secret orders were uncovered today, that the crackdown on the Drug Cartels are to be immediately put on hold because bringing drugs into the country is a preference to the American Government creating international incidents between the USA and Mexico.

"Only the poor and blacks in the ghettos end up using the drugs anyway," said one American Senator under the promise of anonymity. It's much better that we let the drugs get to the end user than to have innocent American citizens exposed to the fear and uncertainty of being kidnapped and shuffled from safe house to safe house for weeks on end.

While there is no certainty that allowing drugs to flow freely across the borders will stop the rash of kidnappings, the same anonymous Senator said that if easing up on the flow of drugs doesn't cut down the kidnapping, the next step would be allowing Mexicans to sneak into the United States to do the work of those Americans who refuse to work for 4 or 5 dollars an hour. When told that this was already going on, the Senator seemed stupefied for a moment before hurrying off toward the Capitol, apparently to come up with a NEW next step if the kidnappings continue.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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