A Muslim woman, from New York, has gone on record to defend her right to bear arms, citing the freedom originally set out in the Second Amendment To The Constitution Of The United States. However, it appears that the phrase may have been lost in t...
Ex Oasis frontman, Liam Gallagher, has laughed off rumours that the band are set to reunite, in a move that is sure to cause a huge sigh of relief to music fans everywhere. Dick The Mancunian Gobshite told NME reporter Alan Wilder "These fu*kin...
New Fulham boss, Mark Hughes, is reported this morning to be on a revenge mission to plunder the entire Manchester City squad. The Welsh bitter Welshman, from Wales, is said to be still smarting from his shock sacking to make way for Italian smoot...
The British Medical Association has finally admitted that drinking alcohol is, after all, beneficial to health. As millions of drinkers raise a glass to toast the good news it emerged that the painful condition of rheumatoid arthritis can be help...
A recent survey, the biggest of its kind, has found that using hand held mobile devices to make calls can lead to the agonising symptoms of Tinnitus. The debilitating condition of ringing in the ears has left many people deaf with thousands of oth...
Super sleuth reporter Herr Riballs has learned that Britain's oldest woman, Eunice Crabtree, has sadly passed away at 111. Eunice, who lived all her life in Swaffham, Norfolk, once joked that the secret of her long life was "20 Bensons, Special B...
TV heavyweight Eamonn Homes has launched a scathing attack on unfunny impressionist Jon Cortshort after a televised show in which Cortshort appeared to mock the overweight presenter. In a series of sketches Cortshort, who uncannily has the same vo...
Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Suffercliff, has been delivered the devastating news that he will spend the rest of his life behind bars. The victim's families were gathered at the Old Bailey to hear the verdict, many punching the air in celebration, aft...
The Policeman BLASTED in the face by crazed gunman Raoul Moat has told reporters that he bears no ill feeling towards the man that has left him blind for life. In an emotional bedside interview heroic cop, ex porn star, Ron Jeremy said: "His gi...
A local council has announced moves to close ALL swimming pools for the duration of the Islamic tradition of fasting during Ramadan. Council leader Duncan Goodhugh said "There is a very real danger that ravenous Muslims will imbibe chlorinated wat...
The Met Office has today issued a severe health warning as parts of the UK are set to see the mercury rise to a sultry 58 degrees Fahrenheit. The 400 page leaflet was produced amid growing concerns that a staggering 96% of British people fail to r...
Jubilant police chiefs in Northumberland heaved a huge sigh of relief today following the capture of fugitive killer Raoul Moat. However, the scenes of jubilation were short lived. In an embarrassing U turn, Northumbria police bosses were force...
A survey by the Department Of Reproductive Health in India has revealed that 90% of Indian men fail to measure up where it matters ... In the trouser department. The report has found that condoms, manufactured for the international market, are too...
Health chiefs were left red faced today after it emerged that an undisclosed London Hospital was turned into a film set for a porn movie. Medical staff and patients alike were outraged to learn that Ward G3 was hired out to shoot sleazy porn flick...
A fierce row has broken out over the Pope's planned UK vacation later this year. It has emerged that the taxpayer is likely to foot the bill for the Papal holiday to the tune of £23 million pounds. REACTION Thomson Holidays spokesman David T...
FLATULENT Germans awoke today to find a welcome addition to their Full English: A serving of HEINZ baked beans in tomato sauce. It seems our sausage eating cousins now have a REAR guard weapon in their ARSE nal which is sure to put the WIND up us.
Bargain basement airline, Ryanair, has announced steps to, quite literally, leave others STANDING. Tycoon, Michael O'Really, unveiled plans to remove all seating on his fleet in a bold move to increase passenger comfort. Plans Speaking to a...
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