Condoms Too Big For Indian Men

Funny story written by Herr Riballs

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

A survey by the Department Of Reproductive Health in India has revealed that 90% of Indian men fail to measure up where it matters ... In the trouser department.

The report has found that condoms, manufactured for the international market, are too big for Indian men.

The conclusions have provoked a tidal wave of anger amongst swathes of men from the Indian sub continent.

Shame

The report's author Sunil Pleece, 52, said "I have heard countless sad stories of amorous young Indian boys entering chemists to purchase condoms, only to leave with a packet of Tic Tacs and a bottle of Olbas Oil. It's clear to me that these boys are ASHAMED at having to ask pretty shop workers for the smallest condoms they do" he went on.

"Maybe this explains why our population levels are spiralling out of control. Men are simply too embarrassed to wear a condom. Or it could be that small penises and large condoms make for strange bedfellows. They simply fall off during intercourse" he continued.

Finally he said "I would like to see vending machines installed to remove any embarrassment. Or condom manufacturers to supply elastic bands to keep them in place".

Indian men

Call Centre worker, Awan Datwan, 48 from Delhi dismissed the findings saying "I never have any complaints about my tickle tackle. What do they say ? It's not what you've got but what you do with it. Yes, I am very happy with mine and so is my wife. She must be. She married me when she was eight and we're still together" he laughed.

Bolton Taxi Driver, Bolsdeep Tudehilt, 52, agreed. "I might not have the biggest one in the world but it was big enough to fill a pram. Thirteen of 'em in fact" he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more