SAN FRANCISCO, CA, USA Nick Cannon, the man famous mainly for being Mariah Carey's husband, inadvertently caused both Twitter and Facebook to be disrupted Thursday after posting a demand on Twitter that Eminem be punished by God for insulting his wi...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA A poster by an anonymous artist ridiculing President Barack Obama has been causing world wide controvery; the poster shows the US president posed as revolutionary Che Guevara above the caption "marxism", apparently in protest of...
STURGIS, SD, USA Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aeromith, slipped off the catwalk while attempting to entertain the audience after the sound system failed as the band performed their hit "Love In an Elevator" at the annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally toda...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA After seeming to have fallen off of the face of the earth during Michael Jackson's autopsy, the missing prosthetic nose has finally resurfaced; apparently, it was vacationing in the Caribbean in an attempt to clear up some long s...
BLUEBELL LAKES, ENGLAND, UK Queen Elizabeth II ordered all flags throughout the United Kingdom to be flown at half mast today in memory of Benson, the 64 pound carp which lived at Bluebell Lakes. He was not terribly smart, having been caught 63 ti...
LONDON,ENGLAND, UK Hideously deformed singing circus freak "Lady'll Gag Ya" was detained indefinitely today on charges of indecent exposure, willful destruction of a national treasure and suspicion of espionage. Gag Ya was in London to negotiate a...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The controversy heated up when Jerry Springer hosted the star-studded season finale of the "America's Got Chutzpa" competition, which aired on the all-Jewish channel, Yid/t.v. Springer is the host of the tabloid talk show "The...
MIAMI BEACH, FLA, USA Mr. Clucky Rooster, Esquire, was named Best Activist in Miami Beach, 2008, by Metromix magazine. Clucky is also a mascot for EarthSave, Critical Mass and PETA. Clucky believes in peace, protecting the earth and being kind to ani...
ROME, ITALY American Michael Phelps was honored as the outstanding male swimmer at the conclusion of eight days of competition at the Foro Italico world swimming championships; in total he received five golds and a silver. Phelps set two individual...
ROME, ITALY American Michael Phelps won his fourth gold medal of the world swimming championships when he beat Serbian loudmouth Milorad Cavic, becoming the first swimmer to break 50 seconds in the 100-meter butterfly. Phelps beat Cavic with a stu...
CHICAGO, IL, USA Chaos erupted on the set of the "Jerry Springer Show" today when guests and former lovers who prefer to be called "Mariah" and "Marshall" took their disagreement to the physical level, as is frequently the case on "Springer". Duri...
FORT MEYER, FLA, USA In the worst case of ostracism in recorded history, an unidentified Florida family awakened this morning to discover that the other 198 units in their 32 story building of upscale apartments, Tower II, had been abandoned, virtual...
NEW YORK,NY, USA Rapper Kanye West issued a strongly worded statement today, addressing his disappointment that he is no longer a serious contender to become the successor to the throne of the late King of Pop, Soda and Cola, Michael Jackson. "I w...
NEW YORK, NY, USA An internet auction being held by "Gotta Have It!" will feature many items associated with the Beatles and other superstars, including Jimi Hendrix. The on-line auction ends on August 5. The New York auction house first gained r...
ATLANTA, GEORGIA, USA The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today announced a promising new discovery in the development of a "prophylactic" vaccine to prevent or ameliorate the effects of the dreaded Male Chauvinist Pig Influenza, better...
LONDON, ENGLAND Queen Elizabeth II has finally caved to pressure from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and switched from bearskin hats to silk turbans for headgear outside Buckingham Palace, where Sikh soldiers have begun guarding the mon...
How Long Can I Make Love? (Sonnet 69) by Elizabeth Bare-Assed Brown-Eye How long can I make love? Let me count the days. I'll make love to the depth and width and height My **** can reach, while being out of sight And the hopes of being on your face. I'll make love to the level of each way's Des'prate need, by sun and candle-light. I'll make love on the freeway: you d...
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