ATLANTA, GEORGIA, USA The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today announced a promising new discovery in the development of a "prophylactic" vaccine to prevent or ameliorate the effects of the dreaded Male Chauvinist Pig Influenza, better known as the m.c.p.1 virus.
Novel influenza XXX (MCP1) is a new flu virus of male chauvinist pig origin that first caused illness in Mexico and the United States in the early 1960's. It's thought that novel influenza XXX (MCP1) flu spreads in the same way that regular seasonal influenza viruses spread, but it may also be spread by touching infected objects to your mouth. Novel MCP1 infection has been reported to cause a wide range of flu-like symptoms, including fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue.
On June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization (WHO) signaled that a global pandemic of novel influenza XXX (MCP1) was underway by raising the worldwide pandemic alert level to Phase 6.
Working from the premise that flu vaccines generally contain microorganisms that were previously virulent and which have been killed with chemicals or heat, scientists have now discovered the best prophylactic vaccine was concocted from a mixture of dead cells originating from the well-known germs Larry Flynt (hustlerium), Hugh Hefner (playboyticia), and Bob Guccione (penthousellia).
This combination seems to stimulate the human body's immune system to recognize MCP1 as foreign, destroy it, and "remember" it, so that the immune system can more easily recognize and destroy any of these microorganisms that it later encounters.
Although this development pretty much entails the end of the pornography industry, it is expected to be approved quickly and be "disseminated" widely before the start of the flu season.
