QE II Says Sihk' Em!

Funny story written by smurfette

Saturday, 1 August 2009

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Retire, hats!

LONDON, ENGLAND Queen Elizabeth II has finally caved to pressure from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and switched from bearskin hats to silk turbans for headgear outside Buckingham Palace, where Sikh soldiers have begun guarding the monarch and her treasures, Britain's defense ministry said Friday.

Sikhs routinely guarded Queen Victoria, who was a colonial ruler of India. The Sikh soldiers wear silk turbans and blue uniforms.

However, in recent times guard duties were carried out by the world famous Guards of Household Division, easily recognized by their bearskin hats and crimson coats.

In May 2006, PETA held a naked protest near St. Paul's Cathedral in London to highlight the use of real bear fur in the Bearskins used by the Guards.

At the time, one nude protester boldly proclaimed,
"Being in London and parading nude in front of hundreds of people has been brilliant."

The defense ministry recently learned of PETA plans for a naked mass invasion of London by all two million members. Apparently the 2006 protest was a mere trial run.

The Queen reportedly became alarmed at the possible economic impact of such an invasion and ordered the change to go into effect immediately.

Her official stance is quite different, however. "It's purely a coincidence that this has happened now," said an anonymous defense ministry spokeswoman.

PETA is now reportedly planning to launch a new campaign against the exploitation of silk worms.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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