X Factor wannabe Katie Waissel's continued survival in the show can be explained by science claims a top boffin. Katie survived on the show this week at the expense of Aidan Grimshaw amid claims that the show is rigged. But top US physicist Dr...
Geneva, Switzerland. The Large Hadron Collider, operated by the CERN corporation, has mysteriously developed powers enabling it to transform itself into mobile fighting machines such as seen in the sci-fi movie "Transformers". One such transformat...
Zurich, Switzerland. In absolutely mind blowing, astonishing news, the Large Hedron Collider has once and for all time confirmed that UK personality "Ozzie" Osbourne does not have anything resembling a brain between his ears. The elite team of sci...
Alice, the name given to the Large Hadron Collinder in Geneva which is probing the nature of matter, has been creating mini Big Bangs resulting in temperatures a million times higher than those at the centre of the sun. 'That is HOT' said Professo...
Scientists working on the Large Hardon collider got a surprise when their machine created a wormhole that allowed a full days worth of the television channel Dave to come through. "We were very shocked," said Hardon engineer, Ben Downes. "Our TV s...
The controversial Hadron Collider is to be turned into a water slide it has emerged today. In an unprecedented move the Royal Society For Science Type People In White Coats have decided to close the facility on the Franco-Swiss border due to the...
Over the last 2 years scientists in Switzerland have been using the Large Halon Colider to find the elusive GOD particle. In their pursuit of the GOD particle they have discovered several other known but unproven particles including the DEVIL part...
Physicists working in Switzerland came across a new phenomenon today, which wasn't predicted by existing theories. Colliding protons were seen to create paired particles, which moved around in unison for no apparent reason. Perhaps predictably, t...
The latest in a long line of media-hysteria-baiting scientific devices is due to be activated this week. Scientists at CERN, near Geneva, ever sensitive to uninformed histrionic bellowing from the press about machines such as The Large Hadron Collid...
Scientists testing theories of the bible have suggested that god was a scientist way ahead of his time. "With the advances in DNA and cloning techniques, we are very close to making a human female from the rib of a man" a leading scientist comment...
The Large Hadron Collider in the Swiss Alps has come under fire from home owners as far away as Naples. The LHC is tasked with probing the very depths of the atom by smashing two atoms together at extraordinarily high speeds and having a look at t...
In an earlier story it was reported that President Barack Obama was swallowed by a black hole created by the Hadron Collider, with only his white teeth being visible from within the totally black abyss. Today, his chattering teeth emerged, and a...
A member of staff working with The Large Hadron Collider, has turned Whistleblower, and advised that he overheard a conversation with two senior executives that he was not supposed to hear. The Informer claims that the two executives, were looking...
In Siberia, peasants are circulating ducks until they reach elk-speed and then they smash them against each other in an experiment called Large Hardon Collander. The experiment was started because, based on the number of quacks heard in the air,...
During another attempt at recreating the 'Big Bang' scientists at the underground facility poked the physics poodle the result being the cloning of Kerry Katona. Before the horror ended over 10,000 of the bi-polar big tittied addicts had spilled over...
The Hadron Collider is going to cause unspeakable horrors according to former scientist Mad Micky Morrison. The Hadron Collider smashed records yesterday as a force of SEVEN TRILLION electron volts was unleashed. Beams of protons were slammed togeth...
From Switzerland, news of the Large Hadron Collider being revved up brought questions concerning the possible creation of a black hole that might swallow the earth. Professor Parsons, head of operations at the Swiss facility, had the following to...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
