Hadron Collider To Be Turned Into Water Slide

Funny story written by Marcus Battenburg

Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for Hadron Collider To Be Turned Into Water Slide
Scientists Working On The Hadron Project

The controversial Hadron Collider is to be turned into a water slide it has emerged today.

In an unprecedented move the Royal Society For Science Type People In White Coats have decided to close the facility on the Franco-Swiss border due to the lack of funding from the National Lottery.

Mr Eustas Balls, Head of the project, said "We spent almost £5 on scratch cards and lucky dips but we won nothing. So, the sad fact of the matter is, it looks like our only option is to sell the Collider."

When asked how they came up with the idea Mr Balls replied "We were all sitting round watching Corrie when the adverts came on and that Barclay Card ad with the bloke coming home from work in the water slide was running. It was then we realised we had a solution to our money worries."

It is thought the multi-million pound project ran into trouble after Scientists blew the budget on Pokemon Trading Cards. An inside source told us "They were sitting round waiting for the go-ahead from the big bosses and got bored. So they went on E-Bay and one thing led to another. Before they knew it they had spent every penny they had on Pokemon and fake Gucci Watches."

The Hadron Collider is not the only piece of Scientific equipment in trouble. It is believed boffins will soon announce that the Mir Space station is to be broken up into small pieces and given away with Happy Meals.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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