A leading political analyst in Northern Ireland, Dr Gerry McGuinness, has described the Real IRA as "trapped in the 80s", following a string of murders made by the retarded group. He said, "They don't seem to be aware of the peace process at all.
A new money-raising organisation, U-Mex, has started in England with the aim of funding the groups fighting for a United Mexico. The organisation refuses to acknowledge the United States control of New Mexico, and says it will not rest until New Mex...
Cheltenham, Gloucs - (X-Files Mess): Remains of an ominous mystery space craft were found burning on the racecourse track this morning. The Prestbury Park site said today it may now have to cancel its prestigeous annual race meeting to which hundr...
Ballybollox, Eire - (Shergar Mess): Ireland's European Affairs minister Dick Roche has been held hostage at gunpoint during an EU Treaty Referendum Mark 2 seige. He was grabbed by hooded armed robbers who then escaped with an undisclosed referendu...
London - (Cold War Ass Mess): UK anti-terror cops are having another brilliant week following the resignation of a former top Provisional IRA slapper who has masquaraded as a Tory councillor and Croydon Council's education chief for the last six year...
Belfast - (AssoCIAted Mess): Loyalist paranormal nutter Michael Stone has told a Belfast Crown Court today that his attempt to storm Stormont and blow it to smithereens was a spoof - "a act of performance art along traditional Northern Irish spoofing...
Poor Irish Republican Terrorists, they really aren't having much success these days so its little wonder that they welcomed the comments from American actress Rose McGowan. A leading Irish terrorist said "yes things aren't going particularly well...
London - (Ass Mess): Hellfire Club grandees have warned that Tony Blair's treasonous 1998 Good Friday Agreement with the IRA was signed under the same lethal Full Moon that also occurs this Good Friday.
Shergar, County Louse - (Syphilitic Ass Mess): Spoof hacks are among eleven men arrested by Gardai in County Louse in a large-scale probe into paramilitary activity.
London - (Diabloical Mess): ITV flagship eighties' news show News At Ten has made a dramatic comeback.
Belfast - (Bas Ass Mess): A Belfast Crown Court judge has thrown out all charges against Jonesborough electrician Sean Hoey, 38, accused of the 1998 Omah bombing that killed 29.
In an attack that will go down as the first non sectarian piece of violence in Northern Ireland for over 50 years, James McDonnell of Glassmill Lane, Derry, was beaten to within an inch of his life by a gang made up of both Catholics and Protestants.
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Ever since Henry VIII banished the megalomania aspirations of the satanic Popish cult over the Throne of England the Catholic Church has attempted to sneak back in by stealth.
The curiosity of a child could mean that hundreds of years of religious intolerance and conflict are back on in Northern Ireland after a brief interlude of peace.
London - (Ass Press): Britain's prison system is no place to incarcerate IRA thugs who should continue to donate huge loans to the Labour Party ahead of their contiued elevation to the House of Lords as Life Peers.
PM Fony Blair has called an emergency meeting of the Cabinet for later today to discuss what to do about the disastrous launch of the new £20 note.
Belfast- Today on the steps of the historic Stormont castle, seat of the Northern Ireland assembly, Gerry Adams leader of the IRA's political wing, Sinn Fein, declared from his beard to waiting reporters that he had an important communique from t...
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