Written by Johnny B Good

Monday, 15 September 2008

image for Rose McGowan may join Irish terrorists

Poor Irish Republican Terrorists, they really aren't having much success these days so its little wonder that they welcomed the comments from American actress Rose McGowan.

A leading Irish terrorist said "yes things aren't going particularly well for us at the moment, in the last year we have planted several bombs and landmines shot at the security forces and even used a rocket launcher but haven't managed to kill a single person yet, so yes we loved Roses comments, its got to help our recruitment drive."

The terrorist went on to explain how they really need new people to join up. "Rose once commented, 'It's my job to spread deviance to the American youth.' We hope that she extends that to Ireland, we now know that she supports Irish terrorists so really do hope that she will continue to make statements in support of killing and bombing. We know if we can get new people then it wont be long to we have Northern Ireland back on track as Europe's leading killing field."

Rose said last week that she would have joined the IRA had she been living in Ireland during the troubles but its unclear if she will now join with the new breed of Irish killers who feel that life is so bad and unjust that they have the right to blow people to bits. The last few months have saw an upsurge in Irish Republican attacks right across Northern Ireland so its evident that the "war" for some is not over.

This was reiterated by Northern Irelands Chief Police Constable, Sir Hugh Orde who warned that Irish republicans elements were 'hell-bent' on killing his officers. Just this weekend a 250lb landmine was found on the outskirts of Jonesborough Co Armagh, it was just yards from a kids playing field but fortunately failed to explode. The bomb was found by victims advocate William Frazer who said " As I drove close to Jonesborough I slowed down because of children riding their bicycles along the road and noticed a metal object in the hedge along the road side. I immediately suspected that it was a bomb packed into the keg with the mixture clear to see and the wires and detonator". Its obvious that today's Irish republicans just don't have the expertise to carry out attacks on children and Police officers the way they used to so new blood must be brought into these terrorist organizations if they are to succeed.

Now that Rose has finished filming and the premier party's for Fifty Dead Men Walking are all but over she can afford her self some time to do the things that matter to her in live. Irish Republicans terrorists need new members, Rose McGowan wishes she had been in the IRA, so Rose, lets put 2 and 2 together and see if we can get 4.

"I am going to be pretty kick ass by the time I'm thirty, and I can't wait!!" Rose is quoted as once saying, well this is her big chance. Well over 30 now she seems to have failed to kick any ass at all apart from that of maybe Marilyn Manson so perhaps its time she jumped on a plane for Northern Ireland and joined up with the new Irish terrorists so hell bent on killing people. Come on Rose let the ass kicking of innocent men, women and children begin.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Terrorism, Ireland, IRA

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