Immediately after scientists announced the availability of the new heart, they received special visitors John McCain and Barack Obama. Both began arguing over who should get the heart. McCain claimed that he needed it because his was so old. Oba...
USA Airwaves - Barack Hussein Obama II, American's new premier pitchman for Socialist Stew unveiled his new kitchen aid on a paid national TV infomercial costing millions. Using a 3 pound Zucchini which he said represented the top 1 % of US Tax...
Based on the tallies from electric voting machines, Senator John McCain of Arizona has been called as the winner in the US elections. This will come as a huge surprise to most Americas, as polls indicated that Senator Barack Obama was going to wi...
Barack Obama answered those critical to his raising taxes for those who earn over $250,000 yesterday by announcing that he had changed his mind and would now raise taxes on anyone earning $200,000. "I was OK with the $250,000 until that ass Joe...
President Bush called an extraordinary meeting with Presidential elect Obama and other key officials at the White House today to discuss the horrendous financial down swing threatening America. Greeting the small group Bush said, "My fellow Americans...and any Democrats present, (giving a minute nod in the direction of Obama) because of bad monetary policies left behind by the last administrat...
Virginia - In a gesture expected to cause a slight lifting of Barack Obama's left eyebrow region (similar to that of Spock's), it was announced Wednesday night that the President hopeful is "very concerned" about the ongoing Israeli/Palestinian probl...
Allen Town, Pennsylvania - For the first time ever, the Right has invoked the word Nazi against the Left. The new salvo begun with an anti-Obama letter and e-mail campaign targeting Jewish-American voters which attempts to discredit Obama in that com...
Beverly Hills, Ca/ Hollywood Daily - Making good on his recent proclamation to only interview himself on national TV, Barack Hussein Obama II, with help from his friends in Hollywood has pulled off the impossible....side by side interviews with HIMSELF! Displaying all the adoration that the usual Hollywood A-List can muster, Obama proudly left his footprints in newly poured cement in an entire...
Chicago, Il. /AP - Barack Hussein Obama II (ed. note. we think it's him) , set back journalism a century today with his new media policy just a week short of the Presidential election. Following a contentious interview with a Northwestern University Journalism student Obama handlers declared the candidate "off limits" to anyone but himself for on air interviews. Northwestern University,located...
GERONIMO, Arizona - Senator Barack Obama has just been endorsed by the NFL Arizona Cardinals. Last week Obama received the endorsement of General Colin Powell, who served as secretary of state under President George Bush. Obama was also endorsed...
Conservative Alan Keyes approached Barack Obama and openly requested appointment to the role of "the Cop" when the future president finally appoints a Village People-style Cabinet in January. "Because you don't mess with the PO-lice," expressed Ke...
Tennessee - (Ass Mess): In a career best campaign move today presidential wannabe Barack Obama was caught hiring a motley ragbag of white supremacists intent on 'assassinating' him to up the November 4 voting numbers. The Neo-Nazi conspirators wer...
Washington, DC - Barack Obama, in order to diffuse the growing controversy of Joe the Plumber, has switched to John the Justice, and is calling upon the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court to spread the wealth around the members of the court a little.
Kenya, Africa - Last week reported photos of Barack Obama's mother, Stanley Anne Dunham, completely nude surfaced on the internet causing many to speculate if there were any more scandalous photos of Barack Obama's family members in provocative poses...
WASHINGTON D.C. President Bush used his Saturday morning radio address to announce his declaration of U.S. Senator and Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama as an Enemy Combatant. The President began, "My fellow Americans, yesterday morni...
Washington, D.C. - A funny thing happen to Braack Obama while on his way to Hawaii to visit his sick grandmother, needing some pocket change for the trip, he made a quick stop at a local ATM where he unexpectedly ran into a McCain supporter. "Whe...
In breaking news, Presidential candidate Barack Obama has revealed that his identity is false and that he is really Osama Bin laden, the miscreant terrorist leader responsible for the devastating violence wrought on American soil on September 11 2001...
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