Tennessee - (Ass Mess): In a career best campaign move today presidential wannabe Barack Obama was caught hiring a motley ragbag of white supremacists intent on 'assassinating' him to up the November 4 voting numbers.
The Neo-Nazi conspirators were intercepted after Federal agents traced the $50,000 hit fee to an Obama campaign bank account.
Two men later confessed the hit attempt was always an inside job planned years in advance following specialist advice from GOP mastermind Karl Rove.
A spokesman for Obama said today:
Meanwhile a covert CIA operation has been discovered tailing Obama's every move following a ten year surveillance of contacts and implants of the KGB double agent Aldrich Ames.
"He's a class act that Obama," a Langley, Va, bigwig said today.
"But we always knew he was in Vladimir Putin's back pocket."
Chelsea Clinton is a top Al Qaeda commander.