In an announcement that rocked the world's population and destroyed the hopes of children around the globe, Santa Claus announced today that he would only be visiting the homes of the top 2% in income in the world. "I have to do it," Santa said w...
In an unprecedented announcement today, both houses of the US Congress voted unanimously to cut their own pay by twenty-five percent, forego health care coverage, and renounce all contacts with lobbyists. As lobbyists gathered in small groups outs...
The GOP taking its lead from Congressman John Boehner has announced that the weekend after the new members are sworn in, they will spread out all across America for a National Get in Touch With Your Inner Feelings Day. The members will meet prior...
Soon to be Speaker of the US House of Representatives, John Boehner has caused quite a stir in the Capitol the past few weeks by crying and sobbing on national TV. As members of the GOP rushed to defend him, journalists are reporting there is some...
Financial bulletins and newspapers across America are reporting that corporate Christmas parties, are in full swing in celebration of the largest corporate profits and bonuses in history. Ten thousand dollar Rolexes, Ferraris, and newly outfitted...
In a move today that stunned the nation's Capitol and infuriated the GOP members of Congress, President Barack Obama issued an order to Capitol police to block all GOP members of Congress and their staffs from using the toilets in the nation's Capit...
Sarah Palin appeared on the Sean Hannity program last night and, once again, took off on the media. "Sexist Bastards," Palin said in a harsh voice. "It's hard enough to be a woman in every day life, but running for political office just makes you a target for these slime balls!" "I agree with you," said Hannity. "You deserve better than that, Sarah. Everyone should be judged on their qualificat...
Rush Limbaugh called a press conference yesterday to counter a ground swell of public opinion that erupted after his negative remarks about Native Americans. Limbaugh, who could not care less, felt threatened by a possible boycott of his advertisers...
In a leaked memo from the TSA, a report indicates that thirty percent of the people in the TSA screening lines are just there for the pat down! The TSA has tried to suppress the news but many airports around the country are reporting the same phenome...
Leaked memos from the new Republican caucus in the US House of Representatives indicate that sweeping changes are going to be made to the First Amendment of the constitution of the United States. "Puking in Public and Inciting to Riot will constitute...
A study by a major mental health care clinic in Minnesota has just released a study relating to the mental health of Tea Party members in the US. It states that eighty-seven percent of the group are afflicted with ABB, the acronym for Anal, Banal, an...
Christine O'Donnell called a press conference today to vehemently deny the rumors sweeping the web that a man had claimed he had a one night stand with her. "Not true and a bold face lie," shouted O'Donnell. She continued, "Yes, I am not a perfec...
Tim Profit, the Rand Paul supporter that stomped on the head of a prone female member of Move-On. org is being hailed as a hero by the right wing media. "He's our kind of guy," said Bill O'Reilly of Fox News. "A real American patriot and a symbol of...
It was billed as a major policy statement by the Republican candidate for the US Senate in Delaware, Christine O'Donnell. Several thousands of her supporters were there as well as the national media. Ms. O'Donnell took the stage with a resolute look...
It was a contentious and ugly debate last night as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid finally responded to Sharron Angle and her continuing call for him to "Man Up." Reid, ordinarily mild mannered and polite, looked straight at Angle and said, "Sharon...
It was an irate Justice Clarence Thomas that greeted the press in his Supreme Court chambers yesterday. He shouted out his first words,"I DID NOT have sex with that blow up doll!" He then showed the journalists a large box with a picture of an adult...
In a startling revelation and nineteen years after the Clarence Thomas Supreme Court nomination hearings, Virginia Thomas has reportedly left a message for Anita Hill apologizing for her part in the controversy. One of the most shocking revelation...
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