Tea Party Head Stomper Hailed As Hero!

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Tim Profit, the Rand Paul supporter that stomped on the head of a prone female member of Move-On. org is being hailed as a hero by the right wing media. "He's our kind of guy," said Bill O'Reilly of Fox News. "A real American patriot and a symbol of liberty and justice for all!"

The incident took place before a Ran Paul rally and as Ms. Lauren Valle was trying to present a petition to Paul. After being thrown to the ground, Profitt stomped on her head and she was later hospitalized. Praise for Profitt was immediate and resounding among Tea Party supporters from around the country. A report from Owensboro, Kentucky stated that a group of Cub Scouts from Troop #39 had thrown members of the Brownie Girl Scout Troop #26 to the ground, stomped on their heads with steel-toed tennis shoes, and called them Commies. Each member of the Cub Scout Troop was presented with a merit badge and flown to New York to appear on the Sean Hannity show. Glen Beck praised Profitt in a personal appearance and as Profitt stood to leave the Set, Beck put his hands of his shoulders and said, "Now! Go forth and multiply!"

In related news, the Tea Party has sent the names and addresses of the 1,300,000 members of Move-On to all Tea Party affiliates around the country and has announced that on election eve, there will be thousands of Munich Beer Hall re-enactment parties, after which the Party members will spread out across their communities and break the windows of the targeted. The event is being called, Crystal Night, or "Kristallnacht" as it was called in its country of origin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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