Three Chinese minors somehow managed to survive 25 days underground without access to newspapers, television, radio or the internet. The three men were hauled from the ground clearly suffering from the advanced stages of Jackson Withdrawal Syndrome.
Long Island, NY - Upon hearing the news that Paris Jackson is going to record a song commemorating her late father, Michael Jackson, Congressman Peter King was heard saying, "Stop The Insanity!" "The man/boy isn't even buried yet and this family w...
Most savvy people in the industry say that Michael Jackson made the career move of a lifetime two weeks ago by dying. "Nobody was paying much attention to Michael lately, even though he was still doing some pretty weird stuff to get reporters to t...
San Francisco, CA - Michael Jackson's coffin was pulled over early this morning in the Castro area of San Francisco. Detective Harry Callaghan, who normally operates out of the homicide division, had been off duty when he noticed the coffin driving e...
Los Angeles - (ReuterUs & Ass Mess): "Just wanna have a baby with you, Jordie!" That was Michael Jackson's pillowtalk opening salvo according to a secret Neverland CCTV videotape seized from Deborah Rowe's First Hellfire Bank of Sodom &...
Medium Angela Crook from New York claims that she has been in touch with the spirit of Michael Jackson. She claims there was a Seance at her New York apartment on Friday 10th July 2009 and that she made contact with the spirit of Michael Jackson.
Langley, Va - (Rioters): Beleaguered CIA boss Leon Panetta has slammed the Jackson family as serial liars complicit in a massive billion dollar fraud started by the Bush family circa 1982. At Langley's President George Herbert Bush Center for Inte...
Oxfordshire - (Poodle Brothers Mess): Michael Jackson's autopsy mortician has been invited by Gorgon Brown to conduct a new postmortem on 'suicided' WMD dodgy dossier debunker Dr David Kelly. The scientist's sudden, unexpected and totally implausi...
The hunt is on for the killer! Following La Toya Jackson's shocking revelations that her brother, the internationally renowned pedophile Michael Jackson, was murdered. La Toya, speaking in that bastion for truth and integrity, The Mail On Sunday, sai...
The General Medical Council has today penalised a number of doctors for appearances on television news programmes speculating over the possible health problems that led to the death of popular singer and dancer Michael Jackson. In a written statem...
Michael Jackson was unfaithful to long-time partner Bubbles. The King of Pop is said to have had relationships with at least two other chimps. The shock revelations are sure to overshadow any further memorial plans as fans struggle to come to terms w...
Not only was Michael Jackson brought down by his own demise, he also posthumously took down the entire state of California with him. Footing the bill for the Jackson Memorial in L.A. at a time when the state was almost bankrupt, the multi-million...
Moonwalking through the clouds on his way to heaven, Michael Jackson passed Farah Fawcett working her wings. She admonished him for dying in the same week, saying it cut into her last big chance to make headlines. Funeral headlines! Her career was si...
The autopsy report on Michael Jackson has blamed the star's death on the boogie. Fears that the sunshine may have had something to do with the death of Michael Jackson have been dismissed. Also the moonlight has been discounted, as have the good time...
Camden social Services today confirmed that they have taken Michael Jackson's children into care. Social workers acted following an anonymous tip off which claimed that the children were about to be made to follow in their father's footsteps. "We...
NEW YORK CITY - Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee Bubbles has just been signed by the famed William Morris Talent Agency. The 28-year-old chimpanzee will be appearing in a commercial for Chiquita Bananas. Aspen Zumahorn the director of the comm...
Bowing to pressure from The College of Cardinals, Pope Benedict admitted from Vatican City that he is the actual father of the Michael Jackson children. "Look at them," said the Pontiff. "They are as white as me. There's no Jackson blood in those...
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