Written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Moonwalk Upstairs
"Like how?"

Moonwalking through the clouds on his way to heaven, Michael Jackson passed Farah Fawcett working her wings. She admonished him for dying in the same week, saying it cut into her last big chance to make headlines. Funeral headlines! Her career was sideswiped after leaving Charlie's Angels, never getting anywhere first. She vowed this time she would make it up to heaven first and give God a piece of her mind. After all, she was an angel!

Wearing a sharp black tux with jacket sleeves pushed up, Michael Jackson spun around four times, gave a chug-a-lug with his leg, tipped his hat and continued on his way with that easy sliding moonwalk. Farah called him a brat.

He added an irreverent bump.

A substantial amount of news was obscured by Michael Jackson's death. Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina wiped away tears during a press announcement, suggesting that he left his heart in Argentina. Tony Bennett shook his head, corrected Sanford: San Francisco, San Francisco. No one leaves their heart in Argentina. Although Argentina works okay. Mrs. Sanford may disagree.

President Barack Obama went to Russia. Obama went to Russia? Who knew? He thanked the Russians for selling Alaska to the United States. And after two years, Sarah Palin quit her job as Governor of Alaska, passing the ball to the Lieutenant Governor, quit the sport, quit the basketball court, quit the capital, went fishing and said she wasn't a quitter.

Iran was still insisting they correctly counted 40 million paper ballots in three hours. There was a military coup in Honduras. Ethnic tensions were developing in China, and North Korea fired more missiles.

Sliding into heaven, Michael Jackson finally made it over the rainbow, clouds and stars, dancing with thriller steps toward god's chamber, spinning five times at the doorway, clapping his hands and easily moonwalking to the head chair, a chug-a-lug with his leg, tipping his hat further down his nose, ending by snapping his jacket open, making that irreverent bump, and snapping it shut, following it with a sweet smile.

"Michael, teach me how to do your moonwalk."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Michael Jackson




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