Geovanni, Hull City's brilliant free-scoring Brazilian, is to become English, according to a report on a bus. The player, real name Geovanni Deiberson Maurício, has only made one appearance for Brazil, and that came way back in 2001 in a 1-0 home...
English football has been rocked by yet another betting scandal. Following the recent investigation into the Derby County and Norwich game, officials have been forced to look at more irregular betting patterns. It seems that a certain gambler,...
Following the recent bank and team failures it may be that spuds and westspam will merge. Struggling teams Tottering Hot Spuds and WestSpam have been linked to a multi-pound merger that would leave each of their fans slightly miffed. The ultima...
London, England - There are allegations that the English spuds football team have been hijacked and moved to the principality of Hull. Spuds FC are on course to achieve their stated goal of achieving fourth place in the English "Championship" but...
When I talk to people about football, and the 'old days', the conversation invariably comes around to violence, or perceived violence, because, a lot of the time, it just never happened. Lots of running around, posturing, arm-waving and shouting, yes...
Rob Styles, the terrible referee, has come up with an ingenious plan to improve his pathetic decision-making, and to make him an all-round better referee - he is to take a dice onto the pitch. Not normally part of the referee's weaponry, the dice...
Rob Styles, the joke referee, was thrown out of St James Park tonight, and given a police escort to the Tyne & Wear boundary, after incensing players and fans at the Newcastle v. Manchester City game. Styles, who clumsily and incorrectly gave...
Villagers armed with sticks and pitchforks descended on the White House today, chanting, "Off with their heads!" Alarmed government officials huddled in the Oval Office, while the Swiss Guard was sent out "to deal with the peasants". Despite bein...
Spurs worst ever start to a season has been compounded by problems on the training pitch. It has been revealed that target practice for strikers has been going extremely poorly. A barn had been provided on a two week loan basis to help the hapl...
Everton football club in an official club statement read by chairman Bill Kenwright today announced that they have been sold to space hopper inventor Cat Deelybopper. Chairman Kenwright announced in a very camp fashion, "after myself and David Moy...
Tottenham Hotspur, the Premier League football team who just don't know how to win, are to be the subjects of a newly-discovered Shakesperian tragedy to be performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company at Stratford-upon-Avon. The play, as yet untitle...
Following today's routine 1-0 defeat of West Ham at the KC Stadium, a small but dedicated group of supporters stayed behind to voice their displeasure at the running of the club. Shouts of "Sack the Board" and "Brown Out" could be clearly heard as...
Hull City, everyone's favourites for relegation, are back up to third place in the Premier League tonight after beating cash-strapped West Ham 1-0 at the KC Stadium this afternoon. In front of a record 24,896 crowd, Hull dominated the early stages...
There was real controversy after the League One game between Millwall and Leeds United at the New Den this afternoon, when ex-Smiths frontman, Steven Morrissey was arrested by police officers in Los Angeles for carrying a Millwall Brick. Morrissey...
Norwich City FC was relieved after being cleared of any wrong doing concerning match fixing. Even though the Norwich goalkeeper made the mother of all clangers. The defence were permanently asleep. The midfield kept giving the ball away. And the...
Thierry Henry, the unsettled French footballer currently plying his trade in Spain at Barcelona, is in line for a January transfer to Manchester City. Henry, who previously played in England for Arsenal, has become disillusioned with life at the N...
England football team vice captain, Rio Ferdinand, rather honestly told journalist that under the previous two regimes the team had a circus feel about it. He was commenting on some of the off field aspects between games not when they were on pitc...
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