Written by Stray Photon

Sunday, 19 October 2008

image for Hull Fans' Protest Gathers Pace
These pampered primadonnas are too easy to beat.

Following today's routine 1-0 defeat of West Ham at the KC Stadium, a small but dedicated group of supporters stayed behind to voice their displeasure at the running of the club.

Shouts of "Sack the Board" and "Brown Out" could be clearly heard as the group demanded an immediate return to the Coca Cola Championship.

I asked the protestors about their grievances.

"This Premier League lark is bloody boring," said one as he munched his chips. "These pampered primadonnas are too easy to beat. We want to play against teams who can at least give us a game."

He continued, "We used to have much more entertainment in the olden days when we used to play against the likes of Crystal Palace and Brentford. At this rate we'll have to start going to watch L**ds..."

At this point the conversation was suddenly interrupted as the man was led away forcibly by his colleagues.

Meanwhile at a hastily arranged press conference, manager Phil Brown appealed for calm and said that the fans should stick with the club through these difficult times.

"I can sympathise with the fans. This club have waited 104 years to get into the top flight only to find that it's a load of rubbish," said the sharp-suited supremo.

He continued, "However I'm sure that when we play the likes of Chelsea and Man Utd in the coming weeks we will encounter at least token resistance, rather than the rather sorry surrenders we have seen at Highbury, St James' Park and White Hart Lane."

Next week: Following claims of mass hallucinations in the crowd, dope test results from the KC Stadium fail to indicate unauthorised additives to the pies. Hull City really are still in 3rd position in the Premier League.

From our Beer and Football correspondent Stray Photon

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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