(TORONTO,ON) Admitted crack user and illicit drug purchaser, Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto, has been found illegally reproducing the Keys to the City and selling them on Ebay to fund his drug use. In a tumultuous city council meeting which saw him wr...
A suspected covert operative of al-Qaeda has been arrested before boarding a flight to London after authorities suspected that he was wearing a concealed underwear bomb; one that required no metal. The suspected operative, tentatively identified...
Cambridge, U.K. - Researchers at Cambridge University have found that, when constructing titles for online publications, doesn't matter what type or genre they are, just online ones, nothing specific, are more likely to be read by the vast majority of people, i.e. the audience, readers, those lumps of organic material staring blindly into cyberspace , hoping to be awaken by some thunderbolt of int...
Lancashire, U.K. - In a story that can only be seen in light of that old adage, reversed, 'What comes a round, goes around,' a German expatriate living as a civil servant in Britain, Helmut Heins, has claimed to have fathered over 10,000 children thr...
LONDON, U.K. - Reality show phenomenon, Simon Cowell, has revealed plans he is about to start auditions for his next multi-million dollar franchise called 'Musical Parachutes'. "Look, people.." Mr. Cowell pronounced to the attending media, "...the...
(API)- Paulina Gretzky, daughter of hockey player, Wayne Gretzky, has publicly stated that she plans to protest human rights abuses in Bahrain by running up and down pit row in nothing but her smile during the F1 grand prix. Ms. Gretzky, who rece...
UPI - President and CEO of Formula One Management, Bernie Ecclestone, has offered a down payment on the country of Bahrain, just weeks ahead of the Formula One race scheduled to be held there. Domestic tensions regarding human rights in the country h...
Washington, D.C. - Congressmen in the House committee on Abortion and the Right to Chose heard evidence today about a fetus that survived two days after it was aborted. The fetus, named 'Fred' for evidentiary reasons, was said to have been aborte...
New York, NY - Tiger Woods has released a statement that he will be retiring from golf so that he can concentrate on accommodating his more than willing fan base of women or find time to "...pull more chicks." In acknowledging that his marriage is...
Los Angeles,CA Jessica Simpson has lashed out at the media for suggesting she had an affair with Tiger Woods. Instead, she has stated that she was in Orlando recently and was caught by a zookeeper playing slap and tickle with a baby tiger. Simpson...
Los Angeles, CA - On the eve of his induction into the Grammy Hall Of Fame, Jose Feliciano, famed blind Puerto Rican singer admits he 'hates Christmas and all the trimmings that go with it'. Mr. Feliciano has been a Christmas fixture on the radio...
Miami, Florida - Tiger Wood's wife, Elin Nordegren has announced that she's been shopping around her autobiography in New York in the hopes of cashing in some chits at the expense of her billionaire husband before they end up in divorce court. Te...
Los Angeles, California - Along Pacific Coast Highway No. 1, past the pier at Venice Beach, past the seaside condos of Santa Monica, nestled in the hills northwest of the city proper, sits Meredith Baxter, former television mom and now fully fledged...
Nice, France - In hospital here in France for a suspected case of swine flu, Angelina Jolie admitted to a male nurse that she has the desire to adopt one of the most successful country music artists in US history, Conway Twitty. Unfortunately, Con...
Tampa, FLA - A Delaware man, Daniel Fleming, whose speciality is incorporating businesses for tax purposes has sold his 43 year old collection of chocolate pudding skins to Ripley's Believe It Or Not for $500,000 US. Mr. Fleming has indicated that...
Washington, D.C. - While 2,000 children lined up patiently in front of the White House, awaiting their turn to get a treat from the Obamas, one little boy was not so lucky. 8 year-old Adam Brickman, fresh from graduating grade one and from one of...
New York, New York - On the David Letterman show in conjunction with a tour of his latest film, "Socialism for Sissies", Michael Moore admitted in front of a live studio audience that he had consensual sex with an underaged donut during his early yea...
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