New York, New York - On the David Letterman show in conjunction with a tour of his latest film, "Socialism for Sissies", Michael Moore admitted in front of a live studio audience that he had consensual sex with an underaged donut during his early years as an up and coming filmmaker.
"It was something that wasn't exactly planned," said Mr. Moore. "I was confused, a little naive, quite frankly, scared out of my wits at having to meet the head of General Motors."
"In a moment of despair, in the wee hours of the morning in a highway greasy spoon outside of Flint, I broke down, bolted over the serving counter and made passionate love to a double dipped chocolate donut."
"Thankfully this was before Youtube and Flip HD cameras or for sure it would be all over the internet right now. The one waitress present saw it all. I think I might have traumatized her for life. Never before had she seen a 380 pound chinless naked man make sweet love to a chocolate glazed."
"Luckily my lawyers made a settlement offer to her after the event and she receives residual checks from my films to this day. I think her name was Beatrice. In retrospect, it was quite nasty, but I can now look back on my younger days with fondness."
