A suspected covert operative of al-Qaeda has been arrested before boarding a flight to London after authorities suspected that he was wearing a concealed underwear bomb; one that required no metal.
The suspected operative, tentatively identified by the name of 'Redfoo', was detained after having passed through security.
According to witnesses, Mr. 'Redfoo' became increasingly agitated waiting for his flight to be called. He had stripped down to his underwear which appeared to be some kind of multi-coloured speedo bathing suit, and had begun to gyrate his hips while reciting the words "Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, WIGGLE." This was followed by the line, "I'm Sexy And I Know It."
Due in part to the conservative mores of Yemen, the suspect was then taken by security for breaching local bylaws on public displays of ones undergarments. The questionable clothing was then sent by Fedex to CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia as a precaution while the suspect was detained. Mr. 'Redfoo' was heard to proclaim, "Y'all crazy if you think there's a bomb in that," and proceeded to listen to his ipod while doing a shuffling motion with his feet and singing,
Although CIA operatives have yet to determine whether the suspects undergarment is in fact capable of producing an explosion large enough to take down a commercial airliner full of people, they have decided, for investigative purposes, to order a large quantity of a product, a product that displays a striking similarity to the suspect underwear, from an internet store called 'Party Rock Clothing'; a store run by a group of entertainers called LMFAO which, coincidentally, is headed by a man who goes by the name of 'Redfoo'.
Whether or not this reporter tells authorities of this revelation depends on how much Mr. Murdoch pays me to keep quiet about it.
