Following the fallout from the G20 riots police are to wear football style numbers on their backs at future riots. It is hoped that this will lead to the swift identification of any wrong doers. They will then be shown either the yellow or red cards...
There was pandemonium in East Yorkshire tonight, when officers of Humberside Police raided various addresses in Hull in a bid to arrest and detain every fat lady in the city to prevent them from singing, after Hull City lost yet again. The 1-0 los...
The controversial gesture made by Liverpool FC manager Rafa "Chief Akimwolo" Benitez at the Blackburn dugout last week has been identified, not as implying that the game was over, but as an ancient Aztec gesture. The Liverpool manager has been rec...
Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez got the bad news he didn't want to hear ahead of Tuesday's crunch encounter with Arsenal at Anfield, when first choice goalkeeper Pepe Reina was ruled out with an injury, and in his place comes the Laughing Frenchman, Char...
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United, allowed his emotions to get the better of him last night as he launched a new battle of both words and actions against his long time foe, Rafa Benitez. Speaking live on TV Ferguson repeatedly referr...
Big Sam Allardyce has complained that Rafa Benitez did not meet him for a drink after the recent Liverpool v Blackburn match. "It's so typical of the bloke. Any decent English bloke knows a few beers after the match is the way it's done. He just i...
Liverpool Football Club have initiated an investigation after one of their players, Charles Itandje, a reserve goalkeeper and a Frenchman, was seen laughing during the Hillsborough victim memorial service at Anfield on Wednesday. Quite what he was...
Sir Alex Ferguson condemned Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez as arrogant and disrespectful earlier today. Benitez described Everton as a 'small club'. Ferguson said "No Liverpool manager has ever behaved in such a manner." Indeed. Bill Shankly never...
Chelsea FC caretaker boss Guus Hiddinck today unveiled his latest signing as none other than Declan MacManus, aka Elvis Costello, who once released a record, way back when, entitled: 'I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea.' Costello, who also sang about O...
Manchester City have been knocked out of the UEFA Cup by Hamburgers, which raises serious doubts as to whether Mark Hughes is the right manager for the club. The UEFA Cup, to be renamed the Ropey League from next season onward, was a high priority...
In what can only be described as inevitable, Manchester City manager Mark Hughes resigned following his team's performance in the UEFA cup quarter final against Hamburg. In a clearly depressed and dejected mood, Hughes said "when I took this job,...
Today in England two football teams played a football match, and at the end of the 90 minutes there was a result. 'I can't believe it', one of the team's managers said, 'just shows you it's a funny old game. You never can tell, can you?' And the o...
In a sensational and unprecedented move last night UEFA announced that they have decided to award Liverpool this year's Champions League. Speaking after Liverpool's heroic and tragic 7-5 aggregate defeat to Chelsea, UEFA President Michel Platini s...
Gerard signs for BarcelonaSteven Gerard, the Liverpool Captain, has joined Spanish giants for a fee believed to be over £100million The midfield dynamo was left out of the Champions League quarter final second leg at Chelsea tonight apparently to...
Bransko Branskovich, mysterious Chelsea Director of Security, Discipline & Respect was tonight sensationally sent home early by owner Roman Abramovich. Bransko was last seen heading for the tube at Fulham Broadway with his violin case under hi...
Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez, notably missing from the large parts of the high scoring Champions League match against Chelsea, revealed the reasons for his behaivour after the match. It seems that Rafa has recently turned to the ancient Aztec tr...
Liverpudlian Capitan Steven Gerard despite the loss of his left leg in a previous match has announced that he will carry said second leg into the face off with Chelsea. Gerard has received a special dispensation from the Pope of Geenwich Village...
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