LONDON, UK - Britain's Got Talent loser, Susan Boyle, was seen being escorted from her Mayfair hotel by ambulance attendants as she was singing the Eurovision 1971, Clodagh Rogers hit, 'I'm Just A Jack In The Box', whilst dressed in bed sheets and a...
CAIRO -- An Egyptian man has cut off his own penis and presented it at his local delicatessen in order that they might pickle it for a take-away snack. Police say the man entered the local Subway restaurant and was told that they were out of cold...
LOS ANGELES - Phil Spector, former record producer and convicted murderer, will host a no-talent reality show from United States Penitentiary (USP) - Victorville. Tentatively called 'Tiny Talent Time', the show will feature performances of rejects fr...
LONDON, UK - In order to distract the public from the ongoing backlash against Hollie Steel's acceptance to the final of Britain's Got Talent, BGT organizers have set up a side contest asking the British public to send in their recommendations for sa...
LONDON, UK - Al Qaeda is alive and well and spamming the Britain's Got Talent website with derogatory comments regarding the performance of young Hollie Steel. Having broken down mid-song on tonights semi-final, Hollie Steel dusted her self off, t...
GSTAAD, Switzerland - Famed songstress, Julie Andrews has offered to give Susan Boyle free lessons in swearing. "Contrary to popular public opinion, including some publicity seeking psychologists, Susan Boyle is not having a breakdown. She is mer...
HAVANA, Cuba - Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, The Rt Hon. David Miliband, announced today the purchase of the United States Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility by the British Government. The property, in turn, will be leased...
BUCKINGHAM PALACE, London - HRH Queen Elizabeth has announced that she would like to step aside so that American Idol Adam Lambert can be the frontman for the Royal Family of Great Britain and the Commonwealth of Nations. The official word from th...
LOS ANGELES - Sometime Hollywood comedic actor but full-time epicurean, Dom DeLuise, has died, but not before relieving himself of a really grand fart, "...one that must have been percolating deep within his bowels for weeks, if not months," states a...
CALGARY (CP) - A contestant of a talent show, 'Canada's Got Talent', has made it to the second round by successfully giving his pigs the Swine Flu. Mr. Burt Gracious, a pig farmer in Alberta, thought up his novelty act whilst on vacation in Puerto Va...
Mexico City, Mexico [UPI] - A native Canadian Eskimo, or Inuit as is the preferred term, is being blamed as the source of the H1M1 virus, or so-called 'Swine Flu' by Mexican health authorities. "We believe Mr. Johnny Great Mukluks And Not A Bad H...
Windsor, U.K. [UPI] - In what may be considered a first in Royal circles, a couple having sex on the lawn out front of Windsor Castle have had their escapade taped via Royal webcam and posted on Youtube by HRH Prince Philip. "You could say it was...
London [UPI] - The first-ever female 'Pot Laureate', 23 year-old Jessica Farnsworth, has been named to the Royal Household. Her job is to celebrate the use of cannabis through poetry, during special occasions, weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs and ot...
Hollywood, USA [UPI] - I was a young lad and my first 'real' job was actually working as a runner on the movie 'The Shining' by Stanley Kubrick. I wasn't expecting it to amount to much but what I learned over those several weeks would prove to be crucial in my later life as a multi-millionaire record executive and television talent scout. I reflect back on those days fondly. One day we were sho...
Washington [UPI] - A sudden increase in the number of paper cuts sustained by harried administrative staff in national parks has prompted President Obama to ask Treasury to earmark 1 billion dollars in emergency federal funding to, as the President p...
Buckingham Palace [UPI] - HRH Prince Philip has announced that, forthwith, he refuses to travel to the United States. He has based this decision on the fact that, in past journeys, he has always had to bear the responsibility of talking to fat, b...
It has been revealed, upon her deathbed, that Bea Arthur, broadway beauty and t.v. bombshell, is believed to have been the 'Fifth Beatle.' Speaking on his cell, superstar seller, Sammy Shore, agent to Ms. Arthur, exclaimed, "Bea was a Beatle. I k...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
