Written by Wire Piddle

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

image for Bea Arthur Believed To Have Been Fifth Beatle

It has been revealed, upon her deathbed, that Bea Arthur, broadway beauty and t.v. bombshell, is believed to have been the 'Fifth Beatle.'

Speaking on his cell, superstar seller, Sammy Shore, agent to Ms. Arthur, exclaimed, "Bea was a Beatle. I know, it's bloody unbelievable."

Ms Arthur was on stage in West London - a workshop of Willy Wonka. Where she met Brian Epstein who walked into her dressing room carrying begonias...and a big bandolin. Bea played the bandolin beautifully.

"Bea.." said Brian. "Bea..please become my "Fifth Beatle."

"But of course Brian," said Bea.

"But Bea," said Brian. "Nobody is to know."

"Nobody is to know?" said Bea, bemusedly.

"No. Nobody is to know." said Brian.

According to Sammy, Bea hated Brian for that. Bea brought her brother to Bolton just so he could bounce Brian out of a bar, but she continued to be a Beatle; Bea and her bandolin. But the Beatles didn't know.

"Then one day she went up to Brixton, with the Beatles. She turned to Paul and said, "Listen, do you want to know a secret?" Before you know it, the blokes had written, recorded and pressed that song and it became a big hit. Gave Bea the broom."

Bea left Broadstreet for Broadway; befuddled, broke and Bandolinless.

Eight years later Willy Wonka went to Broadway, Beatles broke up and Bea, well she met Archie...Archie Bunker that is, and the rest, as they say is history.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Beatles, Bea Arthur




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