Tottenham are under investigation from FIFA, after it turns out they have been passing off a monkey as Welsh international Gareth Bale for a number of months. The left footed youngster is believed to have been switched for a chimpanzee during the...
At an exclusive press meeting in which I gained access, Rooney, dressed in an expensive Tommy Hilfiger track suit, said he wanted to stay at Utd and play "sexy football". Some femalejornos swooned and collapsed on hearing these words. Rooney repeate...
In a deal which will revolutionise the football world Wayne Rooney has bought Manchester United. 'It is about time players took over the Clubs' he told a Press Conference 'we have the know how and I have the money.' Several other players are li...
This reporter can today exclusively reveal that Liverpool boss Woy Hodgson is in fact one of J.K. Rowling's infamous dementors of Azkaban. Suspicions were aroused when reporter Mike Gatspy travelled to see Hodgson's team of underachievers and appa...
This club is Liverpool F.C! You might be surprised that the new Liverpool owner is actually a cousin to the hated Manchester United owners. Yes, he lied that his family name was 'Henry'. Well actually, it's no real surprise that they are cousins, con...
So, Wayne Rooney has signed a five year contract at Manchester United, apologised to the manager and his team mates for being a prick, and is expected within the next few hours to issue a grovelling apology to United fans. So that's all right then...
Sir Alex was hoping to shock the world by firstly flogging R****y (who?) and then asking Gazza to come out of retirement as his replacement!! Initially Sir Alex begged Mon dieu, Messr. Cantona to come back to Utd, lose some weight, train hard and...
In an amazing U-turn - Wayne Rooney has decided to stay in Manchester for another five years. This just two days after the 24-year-old hitman claimed " the city's failure to attract world-class prostitutes to Old Trafford area prompted his dec...
In a late breaking news with all the facts not in, reports have surfaced that petulant potato faced Wayne Rooney has signed a new 5 year contract with Manchester United. A teary eyed Colleen, his wife and child hood sweetheart, said the sudden ch...
Liverpool players and staff were pleased to get away from Naples with a 0-0 draw - and their lives - last night. The match against Napoli in the Europa League went ahead despite a number of Reds fans being attacked and hospitalised with serious in...
Blackpool boss Ian Holloway was said to be having a lie down yesterday after an incredible rant at the international football authorities. Holloway was apoplectic during a televised press conference when he commented on the Rooney/Manchester Unite...
City Of Manchester Stadium (home of Wayne Rooney Ltd) Thursday. A somewhat embarrassing experience here for City fans last night. The normally noisy neighbours were put to shame by visiting fans of Polish Champions, Lech Poznan. No rousing rend...
The message from Manchester United supporters to want away striker Wayne Rooney was virtually unanimous, according to Old Trafford insiders. The vast majority of fans appear to be of the opinion that if Rooney wants to leave, he should just get on...
Troubled Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has spoken out about what he describes as the Old Trafford club's "lack of ambition", and its apparent inability to attract world class players to Old Trafford. His surprisingly eloquent…
Manchester City and England striker Wayne Rooney is under severe mental pressure, could crack at any moment, and is just about at the end of his tether. Rooney, who has just completed a world record £85million signing from city rivals Manchester U...
Football shirts bearing the name of Wayne Rooney, the wantaway Manchester United and England striker, have gone on sale, some say a little bit prematurely, in the Manchester City clubshop. The sky blue shirts are retailing at £52.99. Rooney, 24...
Manchester City are poised to sign arch rivals Manchester United's want-away star Wayne Rooney with an offer the player descibes as "too good to resist, like." City owner Sheikh Mansour, who as they say is "not from round these parts" asked his cl...
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