The French government has bowed to protestors objecting to the official French retirement age of 62. Mr. Sarkozy has crowned himself as Emperor of France in Napoleonic style this morning. La Republique est Mort - We can no longer finance the li...
Quelle the hell is going on with France? Why is it such a ponce? They were fine enough in 'Allo Allo' So I shall say zis only once. Get a grip you silly froggies and stopping acting like your better. You don't see England cycling round in a beret and stripy sweater. Avec your garlic and your froggy legs et votre escargot in butter, And your always so "je ne sais quoi" We Brit'...
EU officials have criticised Sarkozy's policy of immigration following reports that Amazon customers were receiving "funny looking people" instead of their prized possessions. Having failed with his iconic show "Napoleon's Castle"; compacted by se...
About 2,000 people have been evacuated from the Eiffel Tower in Paris after a man in a white string vest exposed his armpits, French officials say. The alarm was raised after an anonymous call from a tourist was made to the company which manages t...
Some a--hole called in what French Intelligence <ha!> officials considered a 'credible threat' against the Eiffel Tower, and the French police bought it, evacuating tens of thousands of people who live in Paris near the giant Erector-set abort...
President Sarkozy celebrated his first recent success story this week when (in a first for the five-foot-five Frenchman) he was proclaimed "too tall" for the part of one of the dwarves in upcoming film "The Hobbit". Tiny Sarkozy, who auditioned on...
A team of cleaning ladies in France sick to death of their pay and conditions decided to start robbing supermarket and shop tills using an ingenious invention, their Hoovers. They did a series of day-light robberies dressed in aprons and masking t...
This story is a direct follow up of Sarkozy responds to Immigration Policy Criticisms If you haven't read it, you may want to before reading this one. Yesterday we broke the news that Sarkozy has launched the gameshow "Napoleon Castle". After one...
Nicolas Sarkozy has amended his policy of shipping the Romanians out of his country, in light of recent criticism by the European Union that it mirrored the Holocaust. Instead of forcing the refugees back onto planes, Sarkozy has launched a brand...
French scientists are deseperately seeking a way to stop the president, Nicolas Sarkozy, shrinking. It is feared that if they do not succeed he will be invisible to the naked eye by Christmas. Unfortunately for the President, no-one noticed his...
In apparent retaliation for Iranian media insults against Carla Bruni, the on/off wife of President Sarkozy of France, the main Gallic newspaper La Lune has branded Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a "little rent boy". The insult is aggravated b...
Former members of the Royal Navy, including the famously deceased, could be heard reacting with outrage today after a scheme was announced to share naval responsibilities with THE FRENCH under the guise of reining in military expenses. A rumble wa...
Paris: The French government is to expel Frenchmen, it has been announced. A spokesman for President Sarkozy said that Frenchmen are smug, arrogant, rude, offer an inexcusably bad service in hotels and restaurants, don't fight properly in wars (a...
Eric Cantona, the Kung Fu-kicking, French movie star who used to play football for Manchester United, is reported, this evening, to be seriously considering making a comeback to the game he has always said he loved - Pétanque. Pétanque is a form o...
France striker Nicolas Anelka is this evening reported to be "moderately dischuffed" at the 18-game ban handed to him by the French Football Federation (not surprisingly, the FFF) over his conduct at this summer's World Cup. The Chelsea player, 31...
PARIS (ABSNN) - A new French law has ended the reign of big, big city cops, and now all gendarmes must be no taller than 1.60 meters, whatever a friggin meter is. Like all armed Frenchmen who go in harm's way, the midget cops will undoubtedly drop t...
ST. JEAN-CAP FERRAT, France - Queen Latifah, the hip hop rapper with the deep voice, manly figure, and crotch bulge that would make Lady Gaga cry is vacationing off the French coast with her fitness trainer Jeanette "Li'l One" Jenkins. The happy b...
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