Chelsea's Nicolas Anelka "Gutted" By 18-Game Ban

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

image for Chelsea's Nicolas Anelka "Gutted" By 18-Game Ban
Some tosspot tries to re-enact Anelka's goal celebration

France striker Nicolas Anelka is this evening reported to be "moderately dischuffed" at the 18-game ban handed to him by the French Football Federation (not surprisingly, the FFF) over his conduct at this summer's World Cup.

The Chelsea player, 31, was sent home from South Africa after a row with coach Raymond Domenech. The whole French squad later refused to train until they had been allowed to visit prostitutes.

Anelka was speaking to France Soir, and said:

"Do you like that little thing I do when I score a goal? You know, when I link my hands together like a dove flapping its wings."

Anelka also questioned the relevance of the ban, saying that, as far as he was concerned, his international career finished when he was thrown out of training on 19 June.

He said:

"As far as I was concerned, my international career finished when I was thrown out of training on 19 June."

Told you.

There was further bad news though, when he was informed by the FFF that, in the future, he would have to scrub thoroughly under his filthy armpits after a game.

French people hum a bit, don't they?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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