After admiring the portrait of the 7th president, Andrew Jackson, that he recently installed in the oval office, Donald Trump proceeded to outline plans on getting rid of illegal aliens by a humiliating and heartbreaking redux of Jacksons "Trail of T...
Alice Sweeney of Morrisville Pennsylvania has a clothing storage dilemma. "I've run out of hangers" she told as we sat in a booth at the Plymouth diner. "and I'm not about to buy anymore, never bought a hanger in my life, they've just always been t...
In a text message to everyone on his contact list, Ruben DeMarco of New Milford New Jersey has a strong message that captures and explains his frustration. "So, I'm at the movies with Kate and my cell phone buzzes" Ruben explained "who the he...
"It came to me one Sunday afternoon awhile back" said Martin Duffy of the Kingsbridge section of the Bronx "when I finished a load of laundry and started spreading the goddam socks around on my kitchen table, like I've done hundreds of times before"...
In the wake of Major League Baseball's suggestions to shorten the length of the games by forgoing the four actual pitches thrown for an intentional walk the backlash from traditionalist fans has pressured MLB to change their stance entirely and in fa...
Veteran Spoof Journalist, George Porgeman is reaching out to the advertising agency Madison Lexington to help influence his adoring public to register 5 thumbs up for his dispatches "I try to get as many family members as I can" said Mr. Porg...
Norm Johnson of Milwaukee Wisconsin has retrofitted his mail box to be his recyclable bin. "Basically I just cut the bottom out of my mailbox at the foot of my drive way and rolled my recycle bin underneath it." Letter carrier Irene Shephe...
The county of Plunk, Pennsylvania, working with Plunk University's department of Alternate Energy is in the process of turning the county's sizable collection of Canadian Goose feces into energy that according to County President Stan Klink "will be...
Jack Dolan of Morrisville was determined this past Monday morning to finally reach is unattained goal of perfecting his morning coffee. With the same determination he has carried every working day for the past 23 years Jack headed to the local conve...
Jenn Swenson V.P. of business development for Texas Instruments Inc. has brought to market a product that many people feel existed already. The Wife's Calculator is 99% a regular calculator, it adds, subtract, multiplies, divides, works percentages,...
The seemingly interminable battle to have the letter N in Wednesday move to its more appropriate position before the D will now go to the Supreme Court. this has angered many in Britain's Parliament who have suggested sanctions against the United St...
Brian Mahoney, 8th grader at Phillipson elementary school in Phillipson Pa. has been failing or nearly failing Math for 6 consecutive quarters leading to China's overwhelming economic superiority. "I just really suck at math" Brian stated i...
Dr. Ralph Beekman, department head of Admiral university's famed Brain trauma institute is also a season ticket holder to the Carolins Panthers. In his expert opinion Cam Newton "has sustained an unusually high number of semi-concussions this year t...
Spokesperson Bradley Mitchell of the newly formed International Machine Union told reporters that when machines are in down time they feel useless and forgotten leading to boredom and depression. "Simply, what they are asking for" said Mr. Mi...
Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge sai...
"We were waiting for Professor Emory to come in and lecture on worm holes and spider webs" said Alice Benoit a post grad student at Princeton's applied Astrophysics and Stuff "when appearing out of nowhere an older gentleman with crazy white hair sto...
Dr. Paul Montgomery of Admiral University's Department of Climatic Intervention has been studying "a strange phenomenon that is occurring this Autumn and if memory serves me correctly, happened last autumn too" he said. Dr. Montgomery went o...
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