Written by thomas o'hanlon

Monday, 27 March 2017

image for Morrisville Woman run out of hangers, not dismayed
possibly what Alice may look like in the Spring

Alice Sweeney of Morrisville Pennsylvania has a clothing storage dilemma. "I've run out of hangers" she told as we sat in a booth at the Plymouth diner. "and I'm not about to buy anymore, never bought a hanger in my life, they've just always been thereā€¦ like pens. Never bought a pen in my life but that never stopped me from signing my checks"

It was a typically cold February day but the diner was heated comfortably. Despite that, Alice was bundled in many layers of blouses, sweaters, jackets, and coats. "So now I wear whatever I cannot hang up, rather than piling stuff up on a table or chair, that would be ridiculous." Alice paused to bring her coffee cup to hers lips, a task of bending her elbow within the 12 layers of wool and cotton and leather. "So I am always warm, haven't turned the heat on back at the house since last winter. I rotate my apparel daily so the inner most blouse is tossed in the hamper every evening."

I asked her how much time it took each evening to disrobe, discard the inner blouse and re-dress, adding a new blouse.

"Oh it takes a good twenty minutes and I'm not happy about that. It seems like I'm wasting a lot of time but what's the alternative, buy hangers? I don't think so"

I asked Alice what she plans on doing in the Spring when the weather warms up. She stared at me as if she didn't quite hear the question so I started to ask her again and she cut me off

"Are you serious? You think I'm a moron? I put all my winter clothes in the attic in the spring, you think I would walk around looking like this in the warm weather. Hah! That would be silly!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: life




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