LISBOA, Portugal – (Satire News) – The U.S. CIA has just learned through a clandestine female double spy, who goes by the spy name of “Hormonal Hanna,” that Portugal has called off their planned invasion of Peru. “HH” reported that there were two…
Washington AC/DC - (Spotty Ass Mess): A distinctive birth mark, potentially a mole, has been discovered on the naked buttocks of a Russian selfie in Robert Mueller’s ongoing Pootin Probe. The move comes after last week’s FBI seizure of data item m...
A young foreign spy who goes by the code name "Dreamer" was deported to Mexico earlier this year after refusing to give federal authorities the true name of his country of origin. He claims he had protected DACA status and has filed a suit against im...
International Waters, The Lizard - A rogue submatine thought to be under the command of Captain Marko Ramius has been sighted off Camilla's private quarters a royal protection racket source said today. The Red Oktober, a Yeltsin-class submersible...
New York - A new Anna Chapman scandal has erupted in NYC with the arrest of three Russian spies stationed in Wall Street's premier cocaine dealing district. Dim-Eatery Pissoff, Sirgay Molotov-Koktale and cell-leader Alexander Bumpkopf were busted...
Washington -- Bra and panty emporium Victoria's Secret is combining with the Secret Service to create the most secret organization that the world has ever known. "We are doubly secret, which makes us twice as secret than any other entity in the un...
Berlin - A German government Nazi involved in deep penetration missions has been busted on suspicion of spying for the USA. Codenamed Agent Malva the Vulva the 69 year-old Bavarian blond bombshell was ambushed by NATO after getting caught red-hand...
Changsha, China - A deluxe version of an inventor's motorised suitcase on wheels was launched today aimed at the lucrative international Security Services market. According to a New China Toast press release the 'Lock Up N Go' invention is the br...
Dublin. Eire - The discovery of a 60-year long Irish Police phone tapping op has been hailed as the world's longest and most successful undetected snoop Dublin Police Commissioner Seamus O'Shergar said today. Masterminded by the Garda Special Inv...
London, UK - More lurid Cold War secrets are out tonight with the news that Sir Blaggo Red-Crave was a commie bastard who sold his soul to the effing Stasi. And his eldest daughter, Lady Clitora Red-Crave, is a two-faced, Putin-fellating', hard-as...
Washington, DC -- From dropping the ball on 9/11 to identifying non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, America's intelligence industry seems forever to be on the losing side. The most recent publicly documented failure: allowing a freel...
It has finally been discovered exactly why the French Government is so upset about the NSA surveillance imbroglio. This scandal has reached a level that, according to White House insiders, President Obama is hoping for some disaster he can attend s...
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - Not content to spy on just his own citizenry, President Barack Obama also allegedly ordered the U. S. National Insecurity Agency to peep on millions of Europeans. According to reports leaked by Edward Snowden, Obama is intere...
Pyongyang - The arrest of alleged CIA spy Ryan Fogle in a Moscow sting op has seen Mossad's top North Korea desk intelligence officer piss herself with laughter at the ploy. "Some audacity of dope, eh?" Commander Ziva Davide [no relation] chuckle...
Washington AC/DC - A presumed US-Chinese double agent is at the core of a CIA wiretap sting targeting hackers suspected of snooping for White House sex scandal cover-ups.** The traitor was discovered during a routine trawl of a Georgetown 'escort'...
President Obama visited a truck manufacturing plant in Georgia this past week where he had promised to make an important announcement. As reporters were still gathering in the publicity center, an ABC correspondent blindsided President Obama with a question about his association with Communists, past and present. Before the President was able to formulate a reply, the reporter followed quickly...
London - The iconic hospitality review site has incurred the wrath of a Central London restaurant by posting the criminal record details of its management. Staff at La Femme Qui A Faim ('The Hungry Trollop') in Belgravia's Toad In The Hole Street...
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