LISBOA, Portugal – (Satire News) – The U.S. CIA has just learned through a clandestine female double spy, who goes by the spy name of “Hormonal Hanna,” that Portugal has called off their planned invasion of Peru.
“HH” reported that there were two reasons; (1) The money for the invasion was transferred over to the restoration of the famed Museo De Las Mujeres Lesbianas (The Lesbian Museum), and (2) The grenade launchers that were supposed to arrive from a grenade launching company in Detroit are now backlogged for six months.
Portuguese President Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa noted that the planned invasion is still on, but it will be pushed back to sometime in the summer of 2022.
Meanwhile the South American government of Peru has filed a complaint against Portugal with the United Nations on grounds of 'Blatant Warmongering.'
