Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 29 May 2014

image for GPS-enabled Cryptographer Limited Edition all the rage as inventor launches 12mph electric suitcase
Early prototype, only ever managed 2mph

Changsha, China - A deluxe version of an inventor's motorised suitcase on wheels was launched today aimed at the lucrative international Security Services market.

According to a New China Toast press release the 'Lock Up N Go' invention is the brainchild of Beijing robotics expert Dr Hu Bung-Ho.

The theoretical transport physicist came up with the idea after studying British spying agency MI6's stretched capacity needs in the wake of the Gareth Williams RIP debacle.

Cryptography specialist spook Williams was famously discovered naked, stuffed into a North Face holdall, at his Central London pad in August 2010.

A robust official investigation failed to solve his bizarre death and the suitcase - uh, police case! - remains unsolved amid countless theories.

Commenting on the 200 cu ft capacity of his 12mph invention Dr Bung-Ho said this morning that lucrative niche market demand for such luxury espionage-related goods spurred him into action.

"Lock Up N Go provides GPS-enabled facilities at a flick of a switch," the scientist said.

A larger, 400 cu ft capacity model aimed at the obese KGB market is under development.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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