Harriet Campbell could not have been more surprised. After waiting for nearly four weeks the results of her DNA test were back...and somewhat alarming. "I found out I was my own mother!" According to misery.com the results obtained indicated th…
Always intent on being on the cutting edge of his species, 42-year-old Trent Buchanan of Nashville, Tennessee, had been certain that he was personally helping advance humanity – only for a call from his mother inquiring about his job status to cause...
"It's an outrage," said neoconservative congresswoman Nancy Hartwright of Oklahoma City regarding the dairy industry's practice of separating native-born baby cows from their American mothers shortly after birth. "This is something that should happen...
Molly Hayes of Brooklyn, New York, prides herself on remaining calm, cool, and collected in the crises she herself creates. "Someone's got to be the voice of reason when things get toxic and overly emotional as a result of gossip I've spread or mi...
This past weekend, Wanda James, the mother of 32-year-old Tucker James in Nashville, Tennessee, failed to remind Tucker to set his clock an hour ahead as the area returned to regular Central Standard Time, causing him to almost miss a coffee date wit...
MORRISTOWN, NJ--In a Facebook post offering her condolences on the tragic events unfolding in Nice, France, area mother Brianna Simpson pointedly noted that she had a great meal in Nice several years ago. "My heart is broken about what is happenin...
When 53-year-old Denise Hobson first heard about the standard animal agriculture practice of "forced molting," by which female chickens are deprived of food and light for up to two weeks in order to artificially jolt their weary bodies into producing...
BRANDON, MB-Local college boy Brent Simmons admitted Monday that the true identity of the woman he calls his mother, one Shirley Simmons, is actually his 45 year old mistress; a cougar named Diamond Foulfish. The relationship according to Simmons,...
Mothers with small girls throughout Britain have been besieging colleges such as Oxford with inquiries about degrees and doctorates in Princessology. The new course has been offered to cater for tens of thousands of keen children obsessed with dr...
Knoxville, Tennessee. Police were called out to the Kingston Pike this afternoon after getting frantic calls from several sources that a fight was taking place near the Weight Watchers Center as some big women were battling some girl scouts and their...
Omaha, Nebraska- Recently, Christie Randall, a mother of 9th grade cheerleader decided to circle the parking lot praying for an open spot. "I just thought that maybe, just maybe, there would be an opening today," Christie said with a stressed look.
Ronald House says that he and his married partner, John Eberton are probably going to get a divorce. "It's his nosy mother Sarah, she has spoiled him rotten and now she expects me to do the same thing. She didn't want us to get married in the firs...
Be Witched was a situation comedy, or sitcom (short for stupid idiots tune in comedies) starring Lizzy Montgummy as Sam Stevens. A bigamist (or, possibly, a polyandryist), Sam was a transvestite witch who, out of stupidity, renounced magic in favor of love. She had two husbands, both named Darren (or, sometimes, Dum Dum, Durwood, Dagwood, or Dingleberry), who, coincidentally, were both employed by...
The author of mucky book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, EL James is said to be unhappy with the label of 'mummy porn' for her series of dirty books. The books are sweeping the nation as 'ladies' take a break from cooking and cleaning to read this abo...
Shanghai, China (SAPP) - Using a new technology developed in Huashan Hospital in Shanghai, China, researchers have shown conclusively that fetuses prefer abortion. After studying 3,666 fetuses, Dr. Tan Jun and fellow doctors in the abortion department of Huashan Hospital concluded that over 91% of them preferred abortion. During the grueling research, Dr. Tan and his team of experts designed a...
Actually, Mitt Romney was sidestepping a question about women's rights, quoting his wife as saying: Women were more interested in the economy. Following that river-dance side step, democratic spokesperson, Hilary Rosen, clicked her heels and announce...
BREAKING (WTFM) - In the single most tasteless attempt at a joke fate could muster, your mother has died on April Fool's Day. You receive the call from your sister around 3:00 AM - a particularly sadistic time because of the fact that you have to...
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