Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...
Roger Federer, the 33-year-old Swiss tennis star went down 6-4 7-6(7-5) 4-6 7-6 (7-5) to Andreas Seppi in the Australian Open this morning, becoming momentarily confused by the strange but enjoyable experience of losing. "Actually, losing gives m...
Finishing his negotiations with Newt Gingrich over whether or not Woods might be a spokesman for Newt's moral character, Woods and his entourage headed to the Australian Open tennis tournament to witness Maria Sharapova's grunts first hand. "There...
With the first round handily notched in his bedpost, Tiger Woods finds himself exhausted, sweaty but perhaps a bit satisfied as he rests comfortably on top of the beautifully manicured and inviting Australian Open. "Nobody can grip a shaft like Ti...
As if losing his third Grand Slam Final without picking up a set wasn't enough, tennis live wire Andy Murray was today double faulted with the horrific news that X-Factor favourite and all round voice of the people Susan Boyle is his biological moth...
Melbourne - Andrew Murray awoke after his loss to Novak Djokovic and without a word to anyone left his apartment and disappeared. Later locals spotted him entering Our Lady of the Upper Respiratory Disease Convent on the outskirts of Melbourne. "H...
Fred Perry will certainly not be turning in his grave as Britain attempts to find a male Brit who can win the Holy Grail, a tennis Grand Slam. Scot Andy Murray certainly doesn't fit the bill it seems? Yesterday he had the perfect opportunity to tu...
Saturday's men's final will be the climax of a record-breaking Australian Open 2011, as the Rod Laver Arena hosts the first-ever all-marsupial title contest. The match, between an Eastern Grey Kangaroo and a Wombat, will be the first-ever grand sl...
Sensational news from the Australian Open where world number 2 Roger Federer has been knocked out by rank outsider Frank Leemydear, world number 621. The feat was made even more remarkable by the fact that left hander Frank plays with a SPOON and...
Last year in Australia Serena Williams got all mens (non-gay) hearts racing by flashing her very muscular buttocks underneath her flesh-coloured panties. In fact Jaggedone reported on this "flashy" story, which caused over 80's male tennis fans to...
Venus Williams was bending over waiting to receive a serve at the Australian Open today, when suddenly a kangaroo with a whopping erection jumped onto the court and headed straight for Venus' butt. It looked like Venus was heading for an ace and mayb...
Lhasa,Tibet- A somber Andy Murray met the press after losing a three set match to Roger Federer. Murray, who took Roger Federer's jibe, "what's it been 150,000 years since Britain has won a major?", to heart, said he couldn't handle the pressure from...
Whilst many neutral observers are of the opinion that Roger Federer is quite simply a better tennis player than Scotland's very own Andy Murray, there remains a simmering resentment among die-hard Murray fans who remain convinced that their man was t...
It was a dark and stormy night, Roger Federer's wife had just put their baby down after a late night feeding. Roger was walking through the living room of their Melbourne time share in the dark when he felt something furry under his foot. A loud yowl...
Sydney - Down under you might think that Tiger Woods reputation might actually be seen as a macho achievement, but not in the eyes of Roger Federer. Tiger's tennis pal apparently snubbed the Tiger after he finished his semi-final with Tsongas. He...
Scottish tennis sensation Andre Hagassi is cutting a swath through top seeds here at this year's Australian Open. Wearing a tartan outfit that looks more suited to the woman's game Hagassi has been using aggression and a power game to defeat more...
British tennis ace Andy Murray has hit the ground running in the Australian open this week. As always the British sports hero has won his first match, beating Kevin Anderson in straight sets. The win has sent the British press into a frenzy of...
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