William Hague - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 17 December 2011

I've been invited to an overseas investor account holders Christmas bash again this year, in Iceland this time.

That German Chancellor Angela Merkel woman will be there, she's so jealous of my being a multi-millionaire. Last meeting in August she was making eyes at my personal assistants Tarquin and Lucien, just to annoy me I'm sure. I think it was her who knocked on the bedroom door at midnight and disturbed our activities on purpose, the bitch!

Last year, I had Nigella and Julian with me, and as wwe were about to order our meal, I overheard the battle-axe saying; "I suppose they will be ordering faggots!" Huh!

Still, no doubt I'll be able to claim some expenses out of it from HMG, and the Euro fund.