William Hague - My Fake Diary

Friday, 25 November 2011

I've already had some Christmas presents!

My personal assistants Julian and Lucian gave me some Chanel No. 5 Perfume, and a Lavender Pillow Sweetener, bless them.

The Gardener's new assistant is nice, butch in a gentle way. Must get my MI5 protection officers Wilberforce and Jessie to check out his history, before I make any approaches.

I could tell you a story about many a Tory, but I mustn't, I must save them for my memoirs when I retire.

Ah well, I must cut out the money off coupons in the maids Daily Star for for Iceland frozen Prawns, the cat likes them.