Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Monday, 20 August 2012

I am aiming to be at peak fitness for the start of the 2012-13 Premier League season.

I'm going onto low-alcohol lager, vegeburgers, oven-chips, and low calorie condoms, I might even turn up for a training session or two. Not that I need to though, me three racehorses keep me fit running to and from the bookies!