Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

I may have to win a race against time if I am to be present for me début as a racehorse owner.

Pippy, me two-year-old colt, was expected to represent me in the first race at Chester, mere minutes after I get released from me duties with Manchester United some 35 miles away.

All Fur Coat won the sodding race @ 9/1. Pippy was well pipped... came nowhere.

Ah well, now where's me hair spray....?