Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Tomway and Switcherooney me race horses will soon be ready for racin'!

High class £2000 a bash prossie Helen Wood is keepin' quiet about me, just like wot I paid her to.

The missus Colleen is doing ever so well with her fashion stuff and making millions!

I'm in me best form for ages, and Man Utd are top of the league.

The kid who's arm I broke has thanked me for the shirt I sent him!

Me new hair is stayin' in place!

Life's good innit!