Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Hey, I'm well please wiv me 'air. It's growing ded gud now. The scab has gone an' there's even some 'air growing there too. I must admit I was panicking there for a bit.

Got t'see ol' Becks when we was all in America. We won 4 - 0 against the MLS All Stars....but it was just for fun like.

Me an' the lads 'ad a great time 2 nights before the game. Ded posh club we went to.

We wasn't allowed t'take no women back wiv us tho' to the 'otel like.

No prob. I was too bleeding bladdered to do owt any'ow

Oh! An' we learned sumfin over there. The American Sports commentators refer to our club as Man. U. So do the Candians.

Doesn't seem fair now that some Spoof writers blasted Lady Godiva out for doing the same thing. After all she DOES live in Canada now and is a great fan of our club. Can't expect them fans who were nasty to 'er to apologize now though. They didn't know any better at the time. But the lads on the team don't mind being referred to as Man. U.