Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Diary,

Today I played football. Then went to America cos Colleen's been getting on my tits. I need some rehab.

Man United won on the weekend. The guy who shines my boots scored both goals. I gave him another tangerine.

The guy who's writing this for me is a wanker. He can't spell Wayne Rooney and keeps writing "Arrogant Sod". That doesn't look like Wayne at all does it? :(