Simon Cowell - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

The newspapers have papped me kissing an' a cuddling with Carmen Electra, the playboy model.

She's eclectic, she's got a family full of eccentrics (well to be honest I haven't met them yet)

I think she is the most beautiful beard, I mean woman, I have ever employed, I mean dated. She's definitely not on my payroll, well apart from X Factor.